Help! New to dating...not sure what to do.

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by daydreamer33, Jun 8, 2014.

  1. daydreamer33

    daydreamer33 Active Member

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    I'm 25 and I've only started really dating in the last year or so for a number of reasons. Mostly because I was still trying to accept my own sexuality. Anyway, I feel really behind and inexperienced and I need some advice about this girl I've been on four dates with. Dates one and two were pretty typical get to know you lunch dates. Then for date number three she invited me to her place and made me dinner. We watched a movie, snuggled on her bed and kissed at the end of the night. We also made plans for two more dates the following week. So, you can imagine I left there feeling pretty good because that was all a big step for me. I ended up not being able to make to the following date, but then I had her over to my place this weekend for dinner. She was so sweet and brought me flowers, I cooked. Anyway we ended up on my bed watching a movie and we held hands and snuggled again, but I could definitely feel a certain hesitation on her part, I can't even really put my finger on it because she wasn't shying away or anything.

    Anyway I was really hoping that something else would happen, like maybe we would at least kiss again or talk about our feelings with how things are going. Anyway, she ended up leaving earlier than I expected because she said she had to work the next day. She just got a new job. When I brought up seeing each other again she said she would let me know once she had her work schedule. Then she made no move to kiss me, but hugged me at the door. I don't know, I'm feeling a bit confused and at a loss. I have this distinct feeling that I may never hear from her again and I really like her. Was she waiting for me to make a move? She is younger than I am and I think pretty inexperienced as well (although that is an assumption). I'm not sure if I did something wrong, or if it just isn't meant to be. Part of me just wants to tell her how I'm feeling, that I like her but feel nervous. I don't want to make things awkward for her though or put her on the spot. Any thoughts, should I try again with her or just move on? I feel like there is something I'm not doing that I should be. This isn't the fist time that I've made it to the forth date mark and had things fall apart. Any advice from someone more experienced?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Re: Help! New to dating...not sure what to do...

    Most of the time, that little voice is correct. There is something going on and she is not saying. You could be more forward but that would only benefit you in one way, which is to make sure your intentions are clear and the result maybe the same.

    Still, if you are ready to throw in the towel, why not give it a try? Just ask her for a quick cup of coffee in a quiet place convenient to her and see if she is up for that idea. Then you can tell her how you feel. Say it with sincerity and the smile that comes from someone who likes her and will accept her however this turns out. If this all doesn't work out then you will still gain the knowledge that your instincts are correct and you would not kick yourself for not having done something at least.
     
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  3. tlowe

    tlowe Active Member

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    Re: Help! New to dating...not sure what to do...

    Hi my name is tlowe and I was a late dating bloomer as well. I agree with the other reply you received. There is something up and if you are not ready to call it quits then hang in there to find out exactly what's up because if you don't try to understand what her hesitation is all about it could bother you even if you start dating someone else.
    I will also add, whoever you date, there is plenty time for the physical (sex etc)part of the relationship. Really spend time getting to know who your dating first so that you can see things clearly. Have a great day!
     
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