help me save my 10 year relationship

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Cal, Feb 12, 2014.

  1. Cal

    Cal Member

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    my girlfriend of almost 10 years is breaking up with me cause she wants to have a "normal" relationship with a guy. i love her to the moon and back. i haven't said yes to the break up yet cause i want to save what we have. i wont only be a losing a partner but my best friend at the same time. im going nuts already. how can i save our relationship. i dont think i can go on living without her. we're living together and she wants to move out soon. . . helpppppp
     
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  2. Raiden

    Raiden Well-Known Member

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    She cares more about society integration than what you had once, so now you might not lose what you think you're losing. Not every relationship is meant to last forever and unfortunately this is how yours ends. You will live and you will find someone who will love you and will not walk away to have a "normal" life, whatever the hell it is supposed to mean, because obviously your girlfriend thinks your relationship is abnormal. Let her be "normal", move on no matter how hard it is.
     
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    It's not your choice. If she wants out, there is no "saying yes" to allow her to have it. Whether it's for a "normal" (yeah, whatever that is supposed to mean) relationship or whether it's because she's not in love with you or for any other reason, you can't make someone stay in a relationship with you. You can't make someone love you. You should want someone to be with you on her own volition..not just because YOU want her to be there.

    If I may be so blunt as to also say this -- this whole notion of "you can't live without her"...makes me want to shake you. I've said it so many times before: Don't rely on someone else for your own happiness! You have to be happy with yourself first, and once you find that within yourself, everything else will fall into place. I would imagine if you're truly honest with yourself and do some introspection, you'll look back and find clues, red flags, etc. that everything wasn't perfect for the 10 years you were together. You're only romanticizing it now -- as we pretend to do when faced with tough situations.

    Lastly, if someone is going to ditch you to be in a "normal relationship with a guy"...then good riddance! If someone can be so cavalier about your 10 year relationship, then where do you really stand in her eyes? Don't you want someone to love you and make you the center of her universe the way she is in yours?

    Yes, this sucks. I've been there...breaking up is a horrible thing and sometimes you just really feel like all you want to do is stay in bed and cry. Again...been there. But look at the big picture here...you are worthy of so much more and you deserve someone who will cherish being in a relationship with you. Use this opportunity to find yourself...use this opportunity to find that confident, happy person you know you can be.
     
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  4. nursevane

    nursevane Member

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    I had all of the same thoughts/feelings as you, when my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years left me to be with a man. I can even relate to you not "agreeing" or "saying yes" to the break up but please say yes. By not accepting or "agreeing" with the break-up I dragged the hurt and pain on for so much longer than I needed to. I look back on all of it today, and kick myself when I think about how much easier I could have made things on myself by simply walking away from someone who had already walked away from me. Turns out, I could most certainly live without her, & here I am! Hang in there.
     
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