Help! Advice on Femme/Chapstick relationship

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Max Ramirez, Apr 27, 2019.

  1. Max Ramirez

    Max Ramirez New Member

    Apr 27, 2019
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    Hi all,

    I am running into some issues with my wife (chapstick leabian), she loves that I am femme and girly but when it comes to me going out with friends and/or we go out together she makes a big deal about me wearing cute clothes and always getting too dolled up, or must you always show your assests? I am a curvy lady with breasts and booty I can't hide unless I ware baggy clothes. She makes comments like you don't get ready like that for me, we hardly go out and when er do of course I get ready... I am not going to get dolled up just to clean or watch netflix in our home! Has anyone dealt with this before if so, how did you handle it?

    Thanks bunches!
  2. Writer23

    Writer23 Well-Known Member

    Jul 14, 2018
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    Hi Max,

    Your girlfriend is insecure and you cannot make an insecure person secure; only she can do that. Her behavior will likely become progressively worst, not progressively better because it is controlling and manipulative. If you give in, even a little, she will take more and more and you will lose yourself and find yourself in an extremely unhealthy relationship – even an abusive one.

    Talk to her about how you feel and see if she is willing to change. If this does not work, suggest that you both see a counselor for couples in your area. If she refuses both suggestions and truly believes that she is not doing anything wrong, leave. Your future self will thank you.

    Spygirl likes this.
  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Hey, I think your wife is fishing for reassurance. She probably wanted you to say, “But I do love dressing up for you, baby!”

    You can teach her to ask you for reassurance in healthier ways than making it an accusation first. I get these moments of insecurities from time to time too. Let’s hope we all become more aware of the better angels of our nature.

    Perhaps you can tell her to take you somewhere so you can both dress up for it.
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2019
    Coffee Addict likes this.

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