Have a girl come to my home for the first tim...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by reamary, Jul 16, 2014.

  1. reamary

    reamary Member

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    So, as the title says, I might be having a girl come to my home for the first time this weekend, OVER the weekend. And I am NERVOUS, as it'll also be the first time we'll be meeting each other. :eek: I've been writing with this girl that I met through an online dating site, for about a month now, first on the site and then on FB, and we seem to share a lot of interests and both seem pretty interested in each other. :) We've also talked on the phone two times and for about a week we've been texting with each other pretty much daily. :D The thing is, she lives in a different part of the country, about 500 km away from where I live. So we haven't really had a chance to go on a real first date yet, and it might take another 6 weeks before I can travel to where she lives and we could meet up. So, after the last phone call she said like she'd really like to see me already and that she's ready to hop on a train just to see me. :D So, we then discussed and thought about it for a few days, and now it's settled and she's coming the day after tomorrow!! As it would be too expensive to stay in a hotel, she's going to stay with me for the two nights and you bet I'm sooo nervous cause my apartment is so tiny, I only have like one big room, so "everything's there" (I did tell her that). And now, first of all, I don't know what's the "protocol" cause I've never done this! I rarely have people staying over in my home in the first place, because there's not much space and I don't know maybe because I'm just so used to being by myself that I don't know how to "be" when there's someone else there. And now that it's going to be someone I MIGHT want to become something more than a friend, the pressure is huuuge.. What's the protocol people, what about sleeping arrangements and stuff!? And I just realized after we made the decision that oh my god I have a tendency to snore (real loud apparently!!!) so that's NOT very "romantic" if it happens. : D And on Saturday I should go to work (she'll wait here) and I always feel I don't look really good in my work clothes, so now she'll see me in those straight away and what else...!
    We do have a backup plan though (I suggested it). We'll meet in the city she travels to and go on a sort of date first and then if everything still goes great I'll drive her to my hometown and she'll stay with me, otherwise she'll stay with her friend. Though she says that she's really excited about me and thinks we won't be needing the backup plan. ;D But I don't know, I guess (I KNOW) I just feel really insecure about myself, I worry that once she sees me for real, she'll feel differently... Or that I feel differently and don't want her to stay with me... Oh and I should mention that we're both equally inexperienced with this, since she told me she's never been with a woman in any way as she has only recently admitted to herself that she wants to be with a woman. And the same goes for me, I've only had intense female crushes, and I've dated a woman a few times (neither of them was my crush nor became one), but other than that I am completely inexperienced. Never even kissed, ANYONE. :D

    Soo if anyone has anything encouraging or advisory to say, please feel free, I'll appreciate all the comments!! Friday is getting closer and I'm getting more and more panicked..!!! :D
     
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  2. darkslyrose

    darkslyrose Well-Known Member

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    Re: Have a girl come to my home for the first...

    Just relax, that's my best advice. Honestly, I'm sure things will go well if she's deciding to travel all the way to see you; that in of itself says everything.
     
    #2
  3. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Re: Have a girl come to my home for the first...

    Good luck! Let us know what happened :)
     
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  4. reamary

    reamary Member

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    Re: Have a girl come to my home for the first...

    Thanks!! Well, exactly the thing happened that I feared. In the end we decided (before she came) that she'll stay at her friend's place for the weekend and we'll just meet each other after my work and hang around and see how things evolve from there. :) We first met on Friday night and had a great time. Then yesterday we met again and I noticed I started feeling little "sparkles" towards her and toootally found her attracting. But I did sense yesterday that she probably wasn't feeling exactly the same way... but we did hug at the end of the day and I sent her text afterwards telling that I had really enjoyed my time and asked whether she still wanted to meet on Sunday. Then at night I had a dream where I would kiss her ( :lol: ), but this morning I finally got a reply from her. She told me that she found me nice as well and was glad that we had met and got to know each other more and that she would still like to keep in touch, and she found that we had "clicked", BUT that she was now thinking more about a friendship as that "something" was missing, which would make it something more.... :/ Soo I was a little bummed reading that, though I had feared it. :/ I don't know, this just seems to continue happening to me time after time. People "find me nice" and stuff, but never more. :/ I sure gets you down a bit, cause you start to feel like there must be something "wrong" about me, in my behavior or in my looks (or both) cause I don't seem to be good enough for anyone... :( I don't want to sound like a dwell in a self pity, but when you have this happening to you enough times, you can't help but think that.
     
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  5. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Re: Have a girl come to my home for the first...

    Hi Reamary,

    Have you gone to a museum or some place where you see something you have seen in textbooks all your life but now it is real in front of you? Well if you have experienced that you would know how I felt when I had met a love of my life. Only the analogy stops there because my thrall with her had just begun. It was fun, loving and reciprocal. You have a sense of things with women, actually. You knew how she would respond and you were right. It is not necessarily you but she was not the right one. You could be in the wrong museum or neighborhood
    entirely.

    Please don't worry about how you would look necessarily and if you snore, see a doctor
    to make sure you don't have apnea as well. Save up some
    money for when you meet someone to go to a hotel rather than having a stranger in your home. And I say this in practically all my advice on finding someone. Do something you really like and meet someone that way. At least make friends that way and network and see what happens.

    I wish for you happiness in your journeys.
     
    #5

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