Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, fool

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by Smash, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Smash

    Smash Member

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    I'm a straight up pansy. Seriously. And because of such, I'm missing out on going to places/meeting the ladies I'm interested in. I mean, not that going to bars would be my ideal places of meeting folks, but at least I'll be out there...you know, meeting folks haha

    I've tried the online thing but it always ends up with folks not being who they say they are which is always such a let down... Well...at least I could admit that I'm pretty much a pansy... So I guess my advice would be the simple nubile, where do I even start?

    I'm not new to this whole dating scene, just very out of touch with it. Been so focused on work and life in general that I forget that I need that bit of happy in my life, you know, the part that includes cuddles and random kisses. Halp?
     
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  2. jaysea

    jaysea Well-Known Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    Lol I'm in the same boat! I haven't dated in so long I feel like I don't even know how anymore. I become such an awkward mess when talking to someone unless I have some liquid courage haha then I'm just a mess.
     
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  3. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    it takes a bitta practice, that's all and the horror of it is reduced.

    I'm gonna equate it with something like being a teacher. (bear with me)

    The first day you walk into a classroom, you are bricking it...like you think you'll die
    The next day is a little easier hopefully if the first day goes well.
    If the first day, goes badly, the second day is harder, but you still have to walk in there and get it over with.
    Eventually, as days go by...it just becomes easy and commonplace. You figure out different approaches to take and you learn that it's not the end of the world when things go wrong. They will sometimes.

    That's what you guys are. New teachers and you are bricking it.

    So what's the moral of the story...try, try try...
    there is a secret weapon; expect to fail some, even a lot. Yes it will be upsetting but man up and walk into that class room the next day.

    The longer you leave it without doing anything (and by anything, i mean trying to interact with girls who like girls in some way and hopefully girls you like), the more you will get worked up when u like someone and the bigger a mountain it will seem to actually do/say the right things to get with them

    Also, when i was in your shoes long ago, I did...um practice runs. Like, i allowed myself to go over to a girl i thought was pretty and try 'n chat her up in some way :oops: I didn't expect myself to be great at it. I gave myself permission to fail and make a show of myself, which really took the pressure off. And I didn't care about the outcome. I was just to try and get used to it, and i had no expectations. I wasn't a sleaze or a perv to the girls now, i hasten to add. I just tried to be charming :? :cool: It got me used to it.

    I mean, i was generally a friendly person in the rest of my interactions with the world and made friends easily, so i knew i had the ability and it was just nerves and expectations putting me off. Hence, make it common place, get used to it. How, by practice, practice, practice. And expect nothing. And forgive yourself if ur a bit nervous. That is ok. In fact, it can be charming in the right girls eyes.

    Now, that's what to do...where u do it is a diff question. R u in Uni? Uni is a good place. Bars of course, but it's all a bit frantic and sleazy bars, but still i suppose it's ur main option. Soccer team? Any Samba bands in ur area or drumming circle? They seem to be littered with lesbians. For my purpose with the practicing, i'd rekon bars...as it's more passing traffic and you don't have to be looking at them the next day over a book, a football or a drum.
     
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  4. jaysea

    jaysea Well-Known Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    Did you talk to any girl you thought was cute or whatever regardless if you thought she was gay/straight?
     
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  5. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    um...well, no, but I wouldn't know for sure if she was gay or bi, If I just thought she had a vibe really...so I used my intuition. So I guess I did chat up straight girls too...they never seemed to mind actually, and thought it was funny...
     
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  6. jaysea

    jaysea Well-Known Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    I think my problem is I can never tell who's gay so I don't hit on anyone but either way I'm missing out
     
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  7. vic7049

    vic7049 Member

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    Re: Halp! Any advice for a bumbling, erm, foo...

    I'm definitely the same! I'm just useless when it comes to talking to girls I like, I just feel all awkward and nervous :oops:

    Plus, when I do get the courage to talk to someone they normally mess me around. sucks :(

    Guess I need to practice too haha :)
     
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