Guilt

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by MisMashed, Mar 12, 2014.

  1. MisMashed

    MisMashed Well-Known Member

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    So, I have a small crush on a guy friend (something kind of rare for me). But things are starting to look even a little promising, and I've developped this big feeling of guilt/un-ease... I can't put my feeling on exactly where this stems from. I have a feeling though that it has to do with the fact that he is male.
    I spend sooo much time admitting to myself that I was attracted to girls, trying to accept this fact, and coming out to friends/ some family.... that I feel like dating a guy would mean that was all for nothing, and that no one would take my "queerness" seriously...I don't know if it's that. Or just the fact that I AM more attracted to women, and worry about regretting entering a relationship with a guy? I don't know... I think it also has to do with the fact that I read (somewhere...possibly here) that most bi-women end up settling down with men, and I've been always insistent that I wouldn't be part of that statistic...I have to run/continue this reflection later.....
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    You are free to fall for anyone. Even if it is someone outside the norm for you.
     
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  3. Raiden

    Raiden Well-Known Member

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    Statistics about everything, 95% of them are fake. To say that most of the bisexuals end up with men, is like saying that you met millions of bisexuals, and no scientists can do such thing. Date the guy, you might find your answer that way.
     
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  4. MizzLadyPants

    MizzLadyPants Well-Known Member

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    I spent a LOT of time trying to figure out whether I was a lesbian . bisexual. whatever. I came out as bi when I was 15, but had been contemplating my own sexuality sense i was 12 when i realized being gay was even an option!

    When I was 16 I came out as a lesbian... I dated a girl online on and off for almost 3 years from 15 to 18 (were still very close, but met online so we never got to meet)

    Then basically out of boredom.. there's NO GAY scene here whatsoever. I started dating guys again... I got together with my current bf. we've been together for the last 4 years.

    I stopped worrying so much about my sexuality and just tried to enjoy my relationship.

    These days I still very often think of women... and that i would rather date them. But I love my boyfriend.

    I find it so annoying that we have to worry about how who were dating reflects on our sexuality. or what it all means.

    sexuality is dumb. you like someone .. you like them.. who cares what other crap it means.

    that's why i like to consider myself pan-sexual. i'm attracted to PEOPLE. gender. sexual orientation. or how they fit into bullshit gender roles means diddly squat to me.

    you know what matters... being happy :)
     
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  5. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Excellent, MizzLadyPants.
    Was your BF aware of your past relationships?

    My wife was looking to meet/pick up a girl when I meet her. I wasn't out to change her or anything... but we feel in love with each other. :)

    I know of other couples who "were" gay who got married, but I'd simply consider them bisexual. And of course there are people who go from straight to gay. Life is strange.
     
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