Got asked out. We were both naked at the time. You won't believe what happened next (NOTHING!)

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by iceblinkluck, Oct 7, 2015.

  1. iceblinkluck

    iceblinkluck Member

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    Not a totally "Does she like me?" thread; more of a "What do I do?" plea. It's like this: This past winter (sometime in Jan/Feb) I was in the locker room shower after the public lap swim session had ended, like I am several times each week. There was another girl in there, a regular (along with perhaps a few other women as well; it was so long ago that I honestly don't remember either way) who had engaged me in conversation a few times before. I don't talk to many people at the pool, but it's a friendly place, so random locker room conversations aren't unusual.

    Anyway she was cute, had really beautiful tits, but I'd never thought about her long enough to even consider the possibility of her being gay. And on this particular day, tired after my swim, I was admittedly only half-listening to her story...something about a work function she was was preparing for...when all of a sudden, I hear something along the lines of, "So, do you want to go?" Through what I hope were covert backtracking techniques, I realized that she had invited me to the opening of her photo exhibit.

    I was taken aback, but at the same time everything suddenly clicked: reviewing all my memories of our interactions, things made sense: of course she was gay, and now she was asking me out.

    Unfortunately I felt very awkward and it showed. I was in a relationship at the time; a good one. It had its issues like any other partnership but I loved my girlfriend...still do, in complicated ways, which is a bit unfortunate for me since she dumped my ass over the summer. So, I mumbled something like, "Oh wow, um, I think I'm actually going swimming then", to which she offered a mercifully gracious reply about the event being on a Friday night and thus tough to make. I sort of darted out of the shower and that was that.

    Or was it???

    Between then and now I've become obsessed. Once I really started to see her, I realized Pool Girl is fvcking hot. I social media-stalked her EXTENSIVELY and continue to do so...don't think I can help it. There was one subsequent (possible) invitation from her to hang out, in which she asked me what I was doing that day and told me about a party she was attending, but I had a legitimate excuse (as well as a gf still!) and this time at least conducted myself like a normal human being.

    My issue/question is: now that I am single and, though not healed, at least not depressed anymore, I want to make something happen with Pool Girl. I don't see her often; sometimes it'll be twice in a week and often I'll go over a month without seeing her. But, after I totally rejected her, and THEN proceeded to ignore everyone there in the time following my breakup, she doesn't talk to me like she used to...and I am so paralyzed with nerves that I go mute.

    -Based on the above, does this girl like me?
    -I think she does, or at least used to. What do I do now?!?!?! I feel like I've missed my chance but I really don't want that to be true.

    Feel free to ask for more info. I could have included more but it was already getting lengthy. Thanks in advance!
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I don't really get the question.

    Quit stalking her on social media. Ask her out.

    It's pretty simple. Sometimes people miss connections, it happens. Next time you see her just say 'I am sorry I couldn't hangout earlier this year, I had a lot going on in my life.' Then ask her to get together sometime. You allude to why you couldn't get together before (it wasn't you, it was me).

    She will either say yes or she will say no.

    And don't stalk her on social media. That only fuels unrealistic expectations and even obsession. You don't really know this girl. Get to know her in person, don't get an image in your head from social media.
     
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Like @Bluenote said. Ask her out. Explain that your previous "rejection" had nothing to do with her and everything to do with the fact that you respected your relationship.

    What's the worst that can happen? She says "no" and you're right where you are now.
     
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  4. iceblinkluck

    iceblinkluck Member

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    Hey! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply...and for the virtual kick in the ass. I know you're right about the social media thing, so I'll do my best to cool it on that end. It's just addictive, you know?

    My question now becomes, how do I work up the courage to ask her out? For you and probably lots of others it might be as simple as just doing it--an attitude I have no problem taking in general, but don't really know how to adopt in these situations. Most of my relationships have developed from friendships; the one that didn't happened after a girl pursued me. Seriously asking: any advice? Tips?
     
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  5. iceblinkluck

    iceblinkluck Member

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    Thank you, Spygirl. I really appreciate your feedback, but I don't quite agree with the worst-case scenario you present. Right now I have a nice little fantasy, something to think about when I'm feeling sad about my ex or unmotivated to go to the pool. You might call that unhealthy, but please have some compassion...I think it's just pretty damn human.
     
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  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Never said I didn't have compassion :) When I meant worst case scenario -- i meant, you're without the girl.

    Fantasies are nice...so if you don't want to ruin that, I'd suggest plan B.

    Start chatting her up innocently..and rebuild the foundation. If she's receptive, then ask her out.
     
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  7. iceblinkluck

    iceblinkluck Member

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    Thanks dude. And pardon my speculation! Nothing in your original post made me think you lacked compassion, I just anticipated people jumping on me for, at least in part, wanting to preserve the fantasy. I like Plan B! ;)
     
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  8. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    It is not easy for anyone to ask a girl out. Even the most confident, extroverted gal gets bad nerves over asking a girl out. All the things that make girls so amazing also makes them really intimidating. If you are remotely attracted to a girl she is going to make you weak in the knees.

    Pretty much your options are to ask her out, or to not ask her out and she just remains a fantasy. If you want to keep her as fantasy girl, that is ok - until it turns into unrealistic obsession and suddenly is not ok. If you want to ask her out, you have some different options. A) ask her for coffee or a drink "sometime". Blatantly a date, but you will get a clear answer. B) ask her on some kind of group thing "my friends and I are going to this film festival." Not as blatantly a date, but a yes or no is a little more ambiguous. Does she really like art films? Does she just want to be friends? C) Just start chatting her up. This is the most ambiguous of all. Is she just interested in being friends? Will she drop hints if she is / is not into you?

    There is no real secret. You just have to rip the band aid off and do it.

    And seriously, don't stalk her on social media. It's not healthy and its kinda creepy.
     
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  9. iceblinkluck

    iceblinkluck Member

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    Don't worry, I got the message about social media stalking. I don't disagree that it's not in my best interest.

    As for the rest of it, thanks again. I don't mind ambiguity, at least not in the beginning. Kinda makes things sexier. I'm probably going to go with a hybrid plan: chat her up, gauge her receptiveness, and then hopefully ask her on a non-date date (the best kind!!!).

    Wish me luck!
     
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  10. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Good luck. Go get her tiger.
     
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