Girlfriend's eating pattern changed..

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Turquoise, Apr 20, 2014.

  1. Turquoise

    Turquoise Member

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    Hey guys,

    There's something that I've been unsure of how to deal with so I thought why not check out if AE could help me out with this, I see things have died down around here but i'll try anyway..

    So a couple of months ago I met the single most amazing girl EVER. She's my type in every single way and we both fell in love the moment we saw each other (literally) and have been dating since that first night. I had never fallen in love with anyone before though I've dated a lot of people. She made me realize what all those cheesy love songs mean and that just looking at someone can actually make your insides melt, set your heart on fire and give you chills and goosebumps all over your body. It's that kind of love and it's great and makes me very happy.

    There is one thing though.. She told me she's had an eating disorder in the past and so have I but we both were able to move past those and I can say it has no effect on me anymore whatsoever. I'm 22 and the last time it had any effect on me was when I was 19 or 20, after that I moved past it completely. She's 17 however (though REALLY mature for her age) and it's only been a year ago for her.

    In the beginning when she came over, she'd stay a couple of days a week and she would always eat very little, I don't exactly have a big appetite either but for me it's more because I have some digestive issues and eating big portions or just a lot throughout the day makes me gag because my oesophagus doesn't work properly anymore, but I felt like that and the fact that she used to have an eating disorder made her uncomfortable to eat when she was around me.

    I tried encouraging her by randomly buying her chocolate and ice-cream and remembering the foods she loved like avocados and keeping them around the house so she'd always have something she liked. She had a weakness for chocolate and unhealthy foods it turned out and now it's kind of like she's lost control from what she says, sometimes she'll eat continuously throughout the day until she feels sick because she's so full and then she still doesn't stop eating and feels guilty so she'll eat barely anything the next day. She's tall and young and naturally really skinny so she isn't really gaining any weight at all, but I've noticed she's had a lack of energy and stays in bed till noon which she never did before, she used to get up around 8 and was hyper all day long. She's been complaining about a lot of random problems with her health like back pains, lack of energy, being out of breath by walking up the stairs.

    I'm studying Nutrition and I honestly believe her bad eating habits are causing this, I also really want her to be healthy and feel good but i'm afraid to try and push her to change her way of eating for the better because she might interpret me wrong. Obviously I enjoy some chocolate or Ben&Jerry's every once in a while as well, but I live very healthily (clean diet & exercise) and I keep it to a minimum because it makes me feel bad (physically), but that's completely personal.

    She did mention a couple of times that she used to eat really healthy but that me buying her chocolate and stuff has made her crave unhealthy foods constantly.. So I feel kind of responsible. Should I bring it up and try to get her to start eating better or should I just leave that to her?
     
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  2. Dalo

    Dalo Well-Known Member

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    You should definitely bring it up with her. But more importantly, whenever she's around - try grocery shopping and cooking with her. Plan your meals together. Let her be involved in the entire process. Make it a fun and enjoyable thing for the both of you. You can make it out to be a "game" or "romantic time" that's just between the both of you. Explore new recipes, cooking styles and have fun in the kitchen. Put some fruit on yourself and have her eat if off you or something. Overall, I guess just try to make eating something that you both look forward to.

    Unfortunately, I don't have too much knowledge or first hand experience with eating disorders. This is just my two cents, and this is the way I would approach it with someone I was in love with. If all else fails - seek professional input. Don't wait till it gets too late.
     
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  3. deaddance

    deaddance Active Member

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    Definitely cut down on buying her unhealthy food, but don't cut it out entirely otherwise she might think the reason is you having a negative perception of her body which could make things worse. Basically, change your own diet but let her decide what she should do. Just watching a healthy person is so encouraging and inspiring. :mrgreen:
     
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