Gf jealous of my paintings of old gfs

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by psd, Dec 1, 2015.

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Would you destroy art work you did for a gf?

  1. Yes

    1 vote(s)
    11.1%
  2. No

    8 vote(s)
    88.9%
  1. psd

    psd New Member

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    she gets furious and demanded I destroy a few painting I did of a woman , I understand it may be hard for her as the woman I had the relationship with was in between ours ,,, but to say ...."I don't want to be reminded of the past "
    "Destroy it if you care a out me "
    Seems a bit selfish and needy, She is horribly jealous ,,, but I thinks destroying paintings is just wrong ,
    Am I being thought less to her feeling ??
     
    #1
  2. Queen

    Queen Member

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    Destroy your artwork, ummm, NO! It would seem reasonable to ask you not to display it in your shared space, but asking you to destroy it is childish and wrong. Your new girl needs to grow up a bit.
     
    #2
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Your g/f needs to acknowledge that you did not live your life in a vacuum...and that yes, you had prior relationships. Her jealousy over something that happened in the past --whether it be the artwork, or your prior relationships -- is really not healthy. If she's going to get jealous like this, then you should consider that a big red flag or at the very least ...an indication that more unfounded jealousy may happen.

    The ultimatum -- "destroy it if you care about me".....is way off base and extreme. Your g/f has problems (whether they've surfaced or not) that will negatively affect your relationship.
     
    #3
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  4. psd

    psd New Member

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    Thank you. Both for reassuring me.
    I love her greatly but have put up with this for too long, I always kept theaintings out of view, But the last straw just broke my back, We were working on the computer compiling photos of my art , and looked on a media site , she saw two studies I did of a woman, and she went mad, she told me it is disrespectful to her ,and shouldn't have the past in her face, She googles my name and lots of my work is there she says "there are more paintings of her than me,you must really love her ,". She doesn't understand what a painting is, ,,,after she goes postal I'm afraid I don't handle it well,
    I get upset that I even have to deal with this,and a fight ensues, Thing is I, love her and want her , but can't have this destructive domineering behavior,
    She has moved out, I told her it won't work even after four years of trying unless she talks to someone
    See she had a horrible childhood with a father that left at her birth and lived close by but refused to see her.
    Wow. I spend too much energy on this interfering with ny work
    Thank you for replies they are valued.
     
    #4
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  5. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I had a terrible childhood too and I am not a controlling dick to my partner. Your gf (or hopefully ex gf) needs to get help. You shouldn't have to put up with that kind of behavior.
     
    #5
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  6. psd

    psd New Member

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    You are right Bluenote. I just use her bad childhood as an excuse to forgive,,,, she has bitten , scratched , broke things also, She goes into histerical violent rage, Sure I'm not the best guy ,, I have severe PTSD and EMDR treatment has killed off some of my loving expression , but have never cheated , She just thinks I am
     
    #6
  7. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, this is not a healthy situation and you need to get out of it and get help before it devolves further.
     
    #7
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  8. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    She sounds like that woman in the real L word. Can't remember her name but she was the fake blond who dated Rose. Anyway, she's very immature. Who the hell tells an artist to destroy their paintings of an ex? Get rid of her, if you haven't already.
     
    #8
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  9. Lauren_1989

    Lauren_1989 Active Member

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    Four years??? If her jealousy hasn't passed by now then it probably never will. From your initial post I thought that yours was a fairly new relationship but to be jealous of a relationship occured 4+ years ago? Her problems run deeper than just jealousy. This also goes further than her requests for you to destroy your work, if she's become physically violent towards you then you've already taken more than you should have. Please don't let her turbulent childhood dictate how you should be treated and what you're willing to put up with. We're all responsible for our own actions and non of us can use past experiences as a free pass hurt another person.
     
    #9
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