Frustrated

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by u-45542526, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. u-45542526

    u-45542526 New Member

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    So here's what has my boy briefs in a bunch. I have been dating a beautiful, very femme girl for over 9 months now. I'm quite a bit older than her but we work despite our age difference and complete lack of having anything in common (tho my makeup skills are on point now). This is my problem. MEN. Anytime we go out they descend upon her like a pack of wolves. We have even recruited big, burly straight guys to be our guards whenever we go out. But now, twice, I have had to deal with men I know pushing the envelope. The first time was quickly spiraled out of control thanks to the wonderful demon water. However, yesterday, my very very dear friends brother made the moves on her, not once, but twice. While we were sailing he had touched her foot and asked if we were really together. She told him we were, and his sister then informed him we were very much a couple (we uhauled it after two months). At the end of the night he was leaving and she was helping him bring stuff out to his car. At this point he had been completely normal and nothing led to me feeling I needed to get my Aries on and hawk watch him. While they were outside this little shit had the audacity to question her about if she was really gay, offer to solve it by kissing her, and then told her how sexy she looked in a bikini. When she came back in she told me and his sister and thank God the asshole was gone because his balls were writing a check I knew he couldn't cash. I was pissed and most of all frustrated. This definitely isn't my first femme rodeo, but I've never had so many issues. Then my ego gets hurt, am I too old, not pretty enough, she's out of my league, etc. I have guys high five me, congratulate me on landing her, etc. And in the moment it may seem cool, but as soon as I go to the bathroom or the bar they are on her. She is a sweet, naive girl, and has, in time, learned the art of shutting men down. We are from a smallish town, so there aren't gay bars really to hang out in. Bowling alleys, beaches, even our own workplace we have to deal with this BS and I know it is starting to wear on her as well because she feels like its her fault (damn her being hot). I know one day I'm just going to go Santana level ballistic (almost did one night and told a guy his head looked like a misshapen penis and his pants were so tight he must not have heard me to go away the first and second time). I just don't know how to handle this outside of the way I have been (sarcasm, looking very pissed off, just leaving). I even joke when we go out that she can't spend too much lest I need to be bailed out... Any advice ladies?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Man, where did you find all these rude people from? I don't know how to deflect them but if there is unwanted touching then carry mace. Other than protecting yourselves physically, I hope you don't ever lose confidence because of what some jokers are doing. Your lady is the one who made the call to be with you. She is the one with the power, not them. You support her when you don't doubt her choice.

    I have not been to a party or club for a long time so I am not the best person to suggest things to say or do. But I will give you a virtual high five not for "landing" someone, but for being a good partner to your lady. Your confidence in this is key and I hope you don't let some turkeys spoil a good time for you.
     
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  3. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    Honestly said, you wanna protect her. Like you said, she's young & naive. But I also think that you're afraid of being cheated on, which completely understandable.
    However, you need to cool off a bit-yes, those guys are annoying because lesbians often make their dick dance and their fantasy is 3some with lesbians (or bisexual girls) so you can't really blame them. That's in their nature, unfortunately (hypocritial nature, if I may add, considering that most of those despise bi and gay guys...). There will be many like this guy who'll try to "change " your girlfriend but we both know that this won't happen unless she wants to. So, again-don't pay that much attention to those guys-you're out to have a good time with her and your friends so focus on that. No need to overthink and see every single guy as a threat.
     
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  4. ChychD

    ChychD Member

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    I feel your pain men! I think you really need to cool a bit. Don't go acting out on your girlfriend it might make her not to trust you. So love her more and don't pay attention to those rude guys. However, try and protect her since you are more matured. And don't make her feel it's her fault. Let her know she is very beautiful and the beauty is a blessing, and guys and girls will always hit on her in your absence.
    I have been your situation. What I do is make my gf feel very secure with me and also to trust me. I don't usually attack any guy hitting on her, as much as I was scared I tried not to let it show. I put all that anger strength in being a good partner to her. A partner she will be very proud of.....and possibly spend the rest of her life with.
     
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  5. hum_dinger

    hum_dinger Well-Known Member

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    I think it's a good thing to protect the person you love against potential threats. The point here is there is no genuine threat because your girlfriend clearly loves you. You should only feel threatened if you think she would be interested in these guy's advances and from the sounds of it she isn't. I can totally understand your anger though because I have felt that before in similar situations but actually I've kind of felt smug at the fact that this gorgeous person that other people want, actually wants to be with me.

    I think if you start to become too agressive with these jerks everytime you're out, your girlfriend might start to not want to go out. Don't get me wrong, you don't want to appear not bothered because it's nice to see that your partner cares, but try to avoid the aggressiveness because that can be unattractive and tedious after a while. Be the person she got together with and show her why she is with you and not those idiot neanderthals.
     
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