Frustrated

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by toastedpie, Jun 6, 2015.

  1. toastedpie

    toastedpie New Member

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    Hi everyone! I'm hoping i cn get some advice on this issue that's been bugging me for a while now. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    I'm 19, from a West African country and a tomboy. In my culture tomboys are generally perceived as girls with bad character, lesbian (homosexuality is really not tolerated here), and as if being a tomboy is some strange abnormality or something. Some also think it's some sort of phase that'll pass. So what if i don't like to wear skirts, or don't like wearing dresses often ( i only wear dresses to church and certain formal gatherings). Some friends of mine keep teasing me that they'll buy me skirts and i'm always like 'You'll just be wasting your money, I'll never wear it). It gets so frustrating sometimes. I just want to be able to dress however i want without hearing comments like 'Why are you always i jeans' or 'Where are your earrings'. I just want to be me.
     
    #1
    Thatbeautifulartist likes this.
  2. Thatbeautifulartist

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    I'm sorry that you have to deal with this :(
     
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  3. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    Hey there! It's always cool to hear from people other than the US, UK, or Australia (not that they're not awesome,b but some diversity is great hahaha, refreshing!).

    First off, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. It is hard to have people surrounding you who are not supporting or understanding or accepting. The number one most important thing is safety, consider that with all you choose to do. But, I think it's great that you are standing up for your own style and your own sexuality. It is brave and in the end, it will make you more comfortable with yourself--which is surely the first step to happiness. The best you can do is sit your friends or family down and tell them not to pester you on why you wear pants all the time or tell them that you'd prefer other, more useful gifts (skirts may not be useful to you, but maybe you'd like a book?). You can tell them that the teasing bothers you or hurts your feelings: I'm sure friends will stop it when they realize it's not just harmless banter to you. It's hard to change other people's perspectives...you may just consider moving somewhere more accepting in the future :p! Or push past the frustration and continue to be a leader where you are!
     
    #3
    greylin likes this.
  4. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    As long as you are allowed to dress as you like then keep doing so. People like to tease others who do things differently. Don't let it get to you. It's important for you to feel comfortable as yourself. Don't dress the way others think you should unless there's a dress code that you must maintain.
     
    #4
    greylin likes this.
  5. toastedpie

    toastedpie New Member

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    Thank you guys..☺
     
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