Friend Zone

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Pretty Wingz, May 27, 2015.

  1. Pretty Wingz

    Pretty Wingz Member

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    How do I get out of the friend zone? Women always want to keep me in the friend zone. I'm fine to hang out with and joke with. I'm even greater to confide in and ask for advice. But when it comes to actually trying to go out on a date or hang out as more than friends I'm always told, "You are really cool and great to talk to. I value our friendship, but I'm not looking for anything right now". Then I watch them go off and flirt and ask other women to dance, buy them drinks, etc and basically blow me off and discard me like I'm not even there and have no feelings. It's happened so many times that I'm starting to believe that maybe I'll always be in the friend zone. I'm a firm believer that it's important to be friends first but it would be nice to have someone by my side in my life as a Partner. I'm not trying to get married right now. I'm just trying to get out there.
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Try not being friends first. Try just flirting with girls, buying them drinks, etc...

    It can be hard to change how people see you. If they see you as a friend, that can be hard to change. Yes some people meet as friends first (full disclosure, my wife and I did). But if this isn't working for you, try a different approach.
     
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  3. pikatan2

    pikatan2 Well-Known Member

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    FLIRTTSSSSS with people you have chemistry with!!

    xx
     
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  4. Avatar Korra

    Avatar Korra Member

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    They are not attracted to you; behind these words "I see you only as a friend" means "I'm not attracted to you" and is a nice way to say it.
    I think this expression"friend zone" is something you put yourself into, it is what you let others decide for you to be. If you want to be more than friends with someone, then don't be friends - this is how life works, get yourself out of that "friend zone" because that's only in your head. If you are not thankful on what position you're in someone's life, then you can just get out of their lives and find the one that will put you on their highest priorities.
     
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  5. Pretty Wingz

    Pretty Wingz Member

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    Korea,

    Thanks for the response. I really never looked at it that way. Different perspectives are always great. I think I put so much emphasis on being friends first that I really focus on that. People see me as a friend because that's the vibe I'm giving out. I think the next time I encounter somebody I'm attracted to I'll approach the situation differently. Maybe I'll flirt a bit. Buy a drink or two. Just something a little different than my norm.

    Thanks again for your ensight.
     
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  6. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    Avatar Korra (lol, nice name, I love Avatar!) has got it right. Take everything she said to heart, Pretty Wingz!

    Also, recognize that while befriending someone can be part of the courting process, if you let it go on too far without showing interest, you'll build the wrong type of connection--that is, a friend one, rather than an intimate one. Make it known you are interested from the start. It will save you some time and send your crush some clarity.
     
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