Flirting...how do you even do it?

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by _mirage_, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    I've come to realize that I am utterly and astoundingly hopeless when it comes to flirt-anything. I can't tell when someone flirts with me and even if I could, I have some serious doubts in my abilities to flirt back. Is there any body language you can look for?!? And, should I even bother to ask a question about how to pump up your gaydar? I would love to chat up an interested lady. But, whenever I do, they are always gorgeous and straight...or we just become 'friends.'
    :(
     
    #1
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  2. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Just keep working at it... Even thou you may have bad luck with straight women - that is still practice. And hey, even with the "just friends", why not have them be your wingman and maybe help give you live pointers on flirting?

    I had/have that problem in my youth. My parents and some friends would say "she's got eyes for you" and I was oblivious. I'd say, practice with your eyes... you can convey your feeling with looking. A slight wink, a nod... a smile.

    I love going out dancing, so if you go to gay or lesbian clubs you'll have a higher success rate.

    Also remember, flirting may also have nothing to do with any romantic desires. People do it all the time at work, shopping, etc. Its practice. I'll come up with anything amusing that may make a cashier laugh.

    Definition: "behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions."

    Use google on flirting ideas... that will also show you when someone is flirting with you. Here is a good start: http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html

    When you are really interested in someone, then you need to be a bit above flirting.
     
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  3. Rach72

    Rach72 Member

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    This is hard. This girl that I liked, she would stare at me, touch my hand and arm when talking, lean her body against mine if we stood looking at something, gave loads of eye contact, play punched me, asked me to give her massages, initiated conversations with me, told me I'm pretty, told me she misses me and also mentioned us hanging out. I didn't see her do half of this with anyone else.

    So I would have thought that all this was signs of interest however I asked her over to mine to hang out as I had the place to myself. she had that 'oh crap' face, you know when you don't want to do something but not upset someone and she was like I can't and then she was like we could all hang out then maybe. So I felt clearly not wanting to hurt my feelings but rejecting me at the same time.

    So I think it's really hard to tell. I think some women can feel close to another and then it can be mistaken for more. Maybe it's more in waiting for her to make the first move but I know I don't like to so I guess we could be here all day waiting for someone to make that move

    I'm really not helpful I know, I guess I just wanted to say, it's not all about the signs that are mentioned on websites as from my experience she could just really like you as a friend. I think the best thing someone told me is just relax and see what happens, don't try to read into every little thing and wait for her...
     
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  4. sela9

    sela9 Well-Known Member

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    Go to gay bars/clubs and be confident. Not creepy. If you start talking to someone smile a lot, make jokes, laugh...Don't get scared talking to someone or worry or analyze what they are saying or doing. Try to let it come naturally and be confident with it. I will say, when I go to gay bars I sometimes get creeped out by some of the females because they will just stand there and stare you down. Don't do that. Ha.
     
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  5. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    I don't flirt, I just ignore the object of my affections. I have a hard time letting someone know I'm interested. I'm always worried she'll spurn me so I just sit back and observe her from afar.
     
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