First Date

Discussion in 'AfterEllen Community Forums' started by Itstime, Nov 15, 2018.

  1. Itstime

    Itstime New Member

    Nov 15, 2018
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    I'm 32 and have always felt attracted to women. I'm a very feminine woman but I've never had a relationship with a man. I've dated of course trying to force myself but I just feel disgusted when they touch me. It's a joke that I'm a man eater as I always end it. If only they knew.

    About 3 years ago I fell madly for a woman in work. I think she felt the same but long story short nothing ever happened as she was always hot and cold.

    I decided a few weeks ago to look online and got talking to another women who describes herself as 100% gay. We switched numbers which for me was a huge thing to do. I love talking to her and we really just seem to click. We are going to meet up later this week which terrifies me. After hours and hours of talking she said she just had to ask me something... she said that she thinks I'm stunning and I don't seem gay in anyway so wanted to know why. I responded just asking what does gay act like and was honest that, I haven't labelled myself but it's who I'm attracted to. I also told her I've never slept with a woman. I know that is really frustrating to hear and said I understood if it bothered her and didn't want to chat any longer. However, (thankfully) she said it didn't bother her at all. So I'm terrified and excited to meet. I haven't told anyone. I've no idea what to do. How the heck (if it comes to that!?) sleep with her? Its scary she is so experienced. I'm glad she knows my past but I've also never slept with a man as I just never could... I'm also worried I'll chicken out and not go even though I really want to.
  2. Degrassigirl03

    Degrassigirl03 New Member

    Oct 30, 2013
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    I can actually relate to your situation in a lot of ways. I would just take things slow and easy. If things do head in that direction it’s okay to just flat out say your not ready. She knows your not experienced and if she respects you she will stop. I don’t feel like saying your not ready would hurt your chances with her either. Go into the date with a mind set that things are going to great, look fabulous, and have fun. I’m sure she is just as nervous as you are.
  3. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

    Jul 23, 2013
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    I think that you maybe putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. Regardless of gender, being with someone new is always a process of discovery. Exploring your partner is quite exciting on itself.

    If the moment comes, start by getting to know her and ask for guidance. A good rule of thumb is don't do anything you won't like yourself. Like @Degrassigirl03 said, take it slow and easy.

    Best of wishes.
    Crescida likes this.

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