hi everyone i could really use some advice.... "sorry for my english" so finally after 3 long years my girlfriend is pregnant. we are together since more than 4 years. from the beginning of our relationship i told her that i want more kids i already have a daughter from my ex husband."was married to a man and soon realised that guy´s are not what i want so i changed the sides" she´s been with women who had kids too but she never really thought about haveing some of her own. so we talked and i told her it would be great if she would have a baby with me and our family would get bigger. she loves kids so we found a gay friend that would help us out. we tried it almost every month. but it never worked. we asked the doctor if someting is wrong with her so she got checked out and everything was ok. shes 38 years old so she totally felt her clock ticking to get pregnant very soon before its to late. we decided to look for a new gay couple. maybe our first guy just wasn´t right. eventhough he got checked too and his sperm was ok.....pretty soon we found a gay couple and we got to know eachother. well not that good...we saw us 2 or 3 times. after he got checked out from the doctor we tried it with him. they seem really nice and it always accured to us that our baby needs to know his father and that the father should be a part of his life. so after the first attempt it finally happend. i came home we ate breakfast and she showed me the positiv pregnancy test. at first i was so happy that it finally happend. we tried so many times... she cried a lot because she thought it was her fault that she couldnt get pregnant. but than i realised that i started to get jealous of him. it really drives me crazy to have those feelings. i know that two women can´t have a baby on their own and that there needs to be a father or donor. but it really hurts that she has that connection to somebody else. i know she´s not with or into him and that he is not into her...he´s happy married with his huband. their connection is because of the baby but i just can´t stand it. i don´t know what is wrong with me. i told her my feelings two months ago. she already felt that there was someting wrong with me and we talked about it. but we somehow don´t agree. she understands that im feeling this way but it was my decision to know the father. if it was up to her she would have taken a anonymous donor. but i couldn´t do this to the baby. i grew up without knowing my dad so i wanted my kids to now their dad. its totally crazy but somehow i feel betrayed. i just can´t stop those feelings. a couple days ago we had a doctors appointment. and we saw the little baby in her belly. she´s 4 months pregnant. it was so exciting to see...but as we walked to the car i thought about him....how happy he will be as soon she´s sending him those pictures with her phone....at least he won´t be showing up for those appointments i thought. i know that he and is husband really want to meet up and talk about a few things but right know i just can´t be in a room with him. i even deleted him from facebook. its so frustrating to have those feelings. i can´t shut them off. everybody tells me that there is no reason for me to be jealous of him. that i will spend more time with the baby. hear the first words...see the first steps...be there when she gives birth. that the baby wouldn´t exist without me or us. but that just doesnt seem to help. its pretty hard on our relationship right now. we dont talk...i´m pretty much to myself. we argue so much. its really not got for her and her pregnancy so i just shut down. i love her so much...i would say she´s the love of my life. i really want to fix this. but i don´t now how...and to tell you this, i don´t even have the right to be jealous. i had a husband. my daughter was made the original way if you know what i mean. he lives across the street. we don´t see him much but he is there. and my girlfriend is jealous and i totally get it now. at the beginning it really got on my nerves because she always got jealous about him. but i always tell her that this is different. when we met she knew from the beginning that my ex husband still is a part of my life because of our daughter. i on the otherside had her 4 years all to myself and now it feels like i have to share her.... what do you think?