Figuring things out.

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by BelleNotte, Jul 26, 2013.

  1. BelleNotte

    BelleNotte Member

    Jul 26, 2013
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    I am 15 years of age, and for Three years I have known that I am attracted to females, as well as males.. or so I thought. I have been in a relationship with a boy for a week less than 6 months. Ever since our 5th month anniversary, we have been getting intimate (Mutual Masturbation ~No Sex~), and I am starting to think that I am not physically attracted to males. Ever since I found out that I like females, I have been wishy-washy on whether or not I still like males. I see a cute guy and I'll think that he is cute, and if I see someone you could consider "sexy" I like it, but I do not like penises. I even watched porn to see, and seeing males does nothing for me. Threesomes, or girl on girl, however, arouse me quite a bit!
    I am still mentally and emotionally in-love with my boyfriend. Physically I just don't know. I tried to tell him this, -seeing how he is also my best friend, I tell him everything- and he just shut down and got really sad and almost started crying, and kept saying how he never wanted to lose me. I know that we will always be in each others hearts, one way or another, but I never want to have to leave him.. He wont talk to me about it without shutting down. I just don't know who to talk to about this. What if I AM a lesbian? I just don't know. It is something I have always questioned, but never thought heavily about.
    Now, I am just figuring things out. Any advice? Please help!
  2. The Uke Girl

    The Uke Girl Member

    Sep 11, 2013
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    Sometimes, there are people who are pretty secure and undoubtful about their sexuality but there are also people who are not always 100% certain about their sexuality and this is okay. You don't have to figure out everything quickly, there is no time limit and with time, you might even realize that maybe you're okay with not always being certain about your sexuality. As for the physical attraction thing, for me personally, the physical aspect of a relationship is somewhat important for me but it might be different for you but this is something that only you can decide. I know your boyfriend keeps shutting down but eventually, both of you have to talk about this and it's good that you are confronting him. Maybe you should let him know that this is really important for you and you want him to understand and really listen to what you're trying to say.
  3. MizzLadyPants

    MizzLadyPants Well-Known Member

    Oct 3, 2013
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    Let me just start with saying; you are still very young... and your probably not gonna "figure out" anything anytime soon lol. When I was your age I was quiet similar. Feeling attracted to both sexes, and I was starting to think I might be a lesbian but I wasn't sure..... I'm 22 now &still in the same boat (in a matter if speaking). With my current bf who I love... but still thinking about women all the time.

    I think the biggest problem in figuring out sexuality, is that we think we have to figure it out. To risk sounding like Martin Luther king :p...

    I have a dream... where my daughter can live in a world where she doesn't have to label her sexuality. A world where you could date whoever you want without wondering"what it means"....

    I know I am still in love with my ex gf & I know I'm in love with my bf... I dunno exactly what it means and I no longer care... and it is freeing.

    Just something to contemplate. ..:)

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