Falling in love with your best friend

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by fuoracle, Sep 6, 2013.

  1. fuoracle

    fuoracle Member

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    I met this girl at work a little more than a year ago. We talked pretty consistently and became really good friends. This summer, her boyfriend was in marine boot camp and she wasn't going to be in a lot of contact with him, so I told her I'd be her distraction. So the whole summer, we talked non stop and learned even more about each other. We've become best friends, I know everything there is about her and vice versa. I love her as a best friend, but I think I may be in love with her. Hell, I probably am. I guess what I want from posting this is other people's experiences with falling in love with their best friend, positive or negative, just to know that I'm not alone in experiencing this. Thanks.
     
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  2. MisMashed

    MisMashed Well-Known Member

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    You are DEFINITELY not alone there! I've fell for my best friend BEFORE we became best friends. We were also co workers, and friends for several years. All of a sudden I developed these feelings, and I think I fell hard! I eventually told her, and she was cool about it. She said she didn't feel that way about girls in general, as much as she loved me :) We stayed friends and even became a lot closer, she is now my best friend, and I talk to her about my girl/guy problems all the time (bi). Unfortunately, though I was able to move on,I haven't 100% gotten over her....I thought I had for a long while, then these waves of feelings randomly come back ever so often. (Especially when she mentions being jealous that I am developing feelings for another girl, and I am left wondering why...). I think the key here would be keeping a distance! But it's difficult! Oh well....c'est la vie!

    Do you plan on telling your friend of your feelings? Does she know you are into girls?
     
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  3. fuoracle

    fuoracle Member

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    She knows I'm gay, she knows everything about me, except this. When I first came out to her, I told her I didn't have feelings for her, at the time I didn't. And I told her once that I am her friend and I don't want her to think I'd ever want anything more, and she trusts me when I say that. So no, I don't plan on telling her, because then she'll never be able to trust me again. And I'd rather have a piece of her than nothing at all. Thanks for sharing your story with me :)
     
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  4. MisMashed

    MisMashed Well-Known Member

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    IF she is a good friend, she would stick by your side, even if you let her know that you are struggling with feelings for her... I don't know what to tell you though. On one hand, if you think you will have a hard time moving on, telling her about your feelings and just hearing what she has to say (i.e. she doesn't reciprocate) might help you move forward. On the OTHER hand, if you are certain that nothing will ever happen and if you think telling her *might* cause a problem in your friendship, then I suppose there is no point.

    Personally telling my friend helped me move on...at first. :roll: Then I don't know what happened...but I think distance/taking a step back is key!

    Also, I feel that I should add that I didn't do a big love confession, I just happened to mention through text one day that I "kinda liked her" and wanted to know if she would ever want to go out. If you don't make a big deal of it, neither will she ;)
     
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  5. fuoracle

    fuoracle Member

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    Interesting, I'll have to think about what to do. Thanks for your story and your suggestions :)
     
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  6. Evili

    Evili Member

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    I was in love with my best friend for all four years of highschool. Now she is in college and I am about to go to one too in about four months. She knows I had a crush on her, she didn't however know how insanely huge it was. Like elephant sized butterflies in my stomach and knees buckling and words stammering and all of that.

    Basically, about one year ago she told me she had liked me too (she came out to me as bisexual) but she didn't want to be with me because she had moved on. So, we settled on being just friends. BUT. I regret not telling her how badly I wanted to be with her when I had the time up till this date. I regret it everyday.

    If you are in a position to tell her how you feel, I suggest you do it no matter what it costs. ANYTHING is better than living in regret. Frankly, if you really like her, your friendship is already doomed like mine was. Trust me, I am still friends with her, our friendship is as strong as ever, but I still feel it would have been better losing her as a friend than knowing I lost my chance no matter how small it was.

    Do post further if anything happens. Would love to hear more about your story. Cheers!
     
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