Don't want to move past it...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by u-45651833, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. u-45651833

    u-45651833 Member

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    Mostly I'm just hoping someone here can tell me I'm not entirely crazy. My friends are sick of me talking about this lol. I developed a ginormous crush on someone I worked with back in March and April. The job was short term but intense and emotional.

    At the time, they (trans person, uses they/them pronouns) were with someone else, but we had a running joke that we were going to get married, and were silly and flirty with each other, but never actually crossed the line. They broke it off with their partner, and were seeing someone casually over the summer, but that's over too. We've seen each other a few times since and we seem to end up sleeping in the same bed and cuddling. Two weeks ago I texted them happy birthday, and we've been in literally constant contact over text and FB messenger ever since. Right now, we're six hours apart with no plans to be closer for a long period of time, though they are planning to visit in a few weeks.

    I guess our constant communication and the fact they've shared some pretty personal stuff is giving me hope, but I know that they're also pretty isolated and a bit lonely at the moment so it could just be a friend thing. My issue is this hope of something happening someday maybe is making me not want to get over this crush. I've backed out of actual dates because of it, which I know is silly but I just can't stop thinking about this person. If anyone is still reading, thank you letting me dribble at you. You are very sweet. Any words of advice?
     
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  2. Frazier

    Frazier Well-Known Member

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    I have come to realise that life is far too short so,go with the flow.It's a crush right now and its giving you a high so don't expect too much too soon.Enjoy the feeling it's giving you right now.When the time is right,she will give you the green light.For now,flirt,romance,play etc without attaching too much tought to it...
     
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  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Flirting and cuddling don't always mean more than a good friendship because there is no one standard that applies to everyone. I've been flirtatious with friends in the past (as they have with me) -- but that doesn't mean that I've ever wanted something more than friendship to happen. I've slept in the same bed with someone who was only just a friend...and nothing ever happened..but we were close enough in terms of friendship that it was never weird and neither of us ever read more into the situation than what was there.

    The point is..without knowing the both of you, it's impossible to tell whether there's anything on your crush's part that would indicate your crush is into you in more than a friend way. You could be just that -- a good friend with whom your crush has allowed themselves to be vulnerable by sharing some personal things. Perhaps you're also a safe person for your crush?

    Maybe you need to talk to your crush -- not necessarily in a way where you say "I have a crush on you."...but maybe you need to find out where your crush stands as to the possibility of anything more between you. Balance this conversation by recognizing that if you cross a line, you might ruin the friendship.
     
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  4. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    I think you need to explore your options with them. Make a move. That way you will find out whether there is a change for you or not, so you can let it go if necessary.
     
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  5. u-45651833

    u-45651833 Member

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    Y'all are too kind to read all of that and post such nice replies. Today they told me they wanted to tell me they have a "low-key" crush on me. What does low key mean?? This person has completely made forget how to be a functioning adult.
     
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  6. Frazier

    Frazier Well-Known Member

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    A "low-Key" crush?That's the first I've heard of it.I believe it could be subject to interpretation and so the best would be to ask "them" what exactly they meant so that both of you are left in no doubt as to where you both stand.
     
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  7. Kaorin

    Kaorin Member

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    It basically just means a secret crush. Pretty sure you're in, there! Make a move and let us know how it goes ;)
     
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