Does my crush like me or is she just using me for her pleasure?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by hithere11, Mar 31, 2015.

  1. hithere11

    hithere11 New Member

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    Known her for a few months now, met out clubbing we have a few mutual mates. Use to hook up on a regularly basis before we got close. You can say we are well and truly and the friendship stage at the moment.
    She managed to get my number. We txt religiously.. We talk about everything we flirt a bit too.

    Only thing she has ever admitted to me is that I'm a good kisser & she was jealous of a girl who I use to see.. who goes out to the same club as us. She wont tell me why she is. She claimed it as a drunk thought.. this was a few weeks ago. A month ago I thought that she was using me to get close to a mate which she got annoyed about as well as how i got jealous she hooked up with a friend of mine.. she always brings it up.
    • I've been to hers a few times but recently stayed there with my mates and sister. We hooked up more than 6 times that night. Held hands, cuddled. She would lay her head or come up to me for affection... she also bit my neck twice left marks. Even let me go under her top as I was kissing her chest area, she didn't pull back or tell me to get off her (too much information sorry). Next week she was showing our friends her bruise and be like did you see what she did to me!?
    • Few times we were in the club.. i'd walk in and she would get excited. Every week she asks if i am going to hers for pre drinks. It's pretty cute.

    Here's the thing.. she broke up with a ex a month ago, and still blog's relevant quotes, pictures etc. She told me that her ex cheated on her. Her past 3 ex's have, which makes me believe why she is so sheltered on her feelings towards me as I genuinely believe they're there however she is worried of getting hurt again.
    Yet she add's all these new girls, facebook, instagram etc and flirts with them but I admit I do the same but whether she is doing that because I am.. who knows.
    • Recently called me two-face saw me talking to a girl who I use to sleep with which she knows about. I said I regret that as she has bad personality. This girl wanted to know how I was getting home. Went back to the crushes house as my siblings partner was passed out. When she called me that I walked outside pissed off. She came out 5 mins later to check up on me. She had even complained to my sister about it.

    One last incident happened last week when we were out.
    • I was talking to an old friend of mine just genuine conversation, she was telling me about her partner cheating on her and how she pretty much doesn't pay a cent in anything. Again.. genuine conversation..
    • My crush walks into the smokers room, sits down next to me where a couple of our mutual friends were standing as well and says 'Am I being a cockblock?' I replied really?! and after a few seconds walked into the main room.
    • She kept appearing every time I was in the smokers room by the way throughout the night until the incident written below happened.
    • After I'm done talking to the girl I get up and see my crush hooking up with her ex in the middle of the main room.
    Again not sure if it was because she thought me and my friend were flirting or whether it was just a coincidence.
    • After clubbing every week we manage to sit outside the club while people are mingling getting taxi's and just talk/cuddle etc. It happened last week. I sat outside then she came and sat right next to me.
    • Friends wanted to go as my sister was borderline drunk and needed to get home, everytime I told my crush I needed to go home she said 'no don't' happened 4 times, then she got up and walked to her group of friends.
    • She then texted me the next day, one of the text messages was 'I hardly saw you last night'.


    Need honest opinions on our situation because I'm insanely confused.
    I appreciate if you avoid saying well just talk to her, I want opinions based on what I have written to not sound too pushy.
     
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  2. Narley

    Narley Well-Known Member

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    This has got to be the most organised post I've ever seen. Are you a student or at Uni? I think, based on what you've written. That the reason you're so confused is because neither you or this girl know what you want from each other. You have two options... Keep it casual or try to woo her and make it serious. My opinion....
    I don't think either of you sound ready for a relationship with each other... Sorry its just the way you've both come across. There's WAAAY too much drama! If you want to cut her interpretations of your behaviour or make more sense of hers then the only way to get round that is just to speak with her. Sorry I know you didn't want anyone to say that... but in any relationship communication is KEY. There's no getting away from that.
    Best of luck though!
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I think US slang is different than your slang. Here a hook up is usually sex. So I'm thinking 'wow, they had sex six times in one night? Hell yeah she's using you for pleasure!' But then you clarified with more information.

    I honestly don't know if she just wants something casual or if she wants something more serious. There is no magic way to tell this from how a girl holds your hand, how much she FB posts pics of cute girls, etc...

    You guys aren't a couple, so her behavior is fair game for a single girl playing the field. Which doesn't mean that she doesn't want more. I mean, there is clearly some mutual attraction there.

    I agree with @Narley .
    1) do you want more? 2) are you and she emotionally ready for more? Able to talk about feelings without a bunch of drama and acting out?

    If you want more, go for it. Ask her out on a date. A real date, just the two of you and something where you will be mostly sober. It doesn't have to be huge - coffee, a hike, a movie, dinner at a low key place, etc...

    You don't want it to be a party, clubbing or drinking. That is too much of you gals' usual dynamic. You wouldn't know if she is into you, or just wants to go clubbing and makes out with you drunk.

    Good luck.
     
    #3
    Spygirl likes this.
  4. hithere11

    hithere11 New Member

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    I use to go to uni yes haha, thank you!
     
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  5. hithere11

    hithere11 New Member

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    Okay pleasure was a bad word to use, I'd say more for fun, nothing serious.
    I would like more but all these dramas and things she does I personally think it is to get a reaction out of me as I don't really express what I'm thinking or feeling as much as she would like or as much as I should. I don't deal with drama well.
    She's asked about what's happened to me in the past to why I don't tell her things, it's not that I don't trust her it's more like, I don't want to risk getting hurt again or for her to find out about my past.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like she is not the girl for you and you should try to find someone who is less dramatic.
     
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