Does my boss have a crush on me??

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by thefallenone, Sep 7, 2015.

  1. thefallenone

    thefallenone New Member

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    Hi,

    I have fallen hard for my boss, the questions is now does she like me back??

    She always touches my arm and stands really close to me when speaking. It always feels like she holds eye contact longer than necessary. On occasions ill receive hugs from her.She knows im gay and everyone else at work tells me im her favorite employee. I don´t know if she is gay, straight or bi. I heard rumors about her having a couple of boyfriends, but she is a very private person and rarely talks about herself. Maybe im just imagining things?

    Please help im so confused by her behavior

    Regards
     
    #1
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    We get these posts from time to time on AE.

    To be straightforward, it is impossible to tell from limited information like eye contact or non-sexual touching and pats if she does indeed like you.

    Simple things, like eye contact or non-sexual touching can be very subjective. One person making eye contact might be friendly, another is sizing you up (but not for romantic reasons), some girls might be high and someone else might be checking you out. So you can't make a blanket determination "if she touches you on the elbow, it must be attraction." People are too different to generalize like that.

    We tend to see what we want to see. You are attracted to your boss (!!) so you are predisposed to see what you want to see "she looked at me, omg, it's love."

    Now, for the hard part. Don't date your boss. If you are in a serious career job, it could really blow up and screw up your career, her career and the dynamics of your company. If it's not a serious career job it still probably is for her, so it could really make trouble for her.

    Try not to fixate on her. And try to date cute, available, gay girls who are not your boss.
     
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  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    It has a mentor feel to her actions. She values you as an employee and a reasonable person and probably is letting her guard down a little because of it. I can see myself in your shoes and feeling some kind of connection. But, please think of her as a great boss and respect that, try not to objectify her.
     
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  4. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    I thought back a long, long way to try and remember any time a boss stood real close to me, touched my arm or hugged me. Yes, twice. Once on my last day my male boss hugged me goodbye. Not too close or creepy, just a friendly "we're going to miss you" hug. The other was a female boss who we all suspected was gay. She had a girlfriend who we all believed was more than just a friend. She would stand real cost to me, play with my hair, find a reason to push her way past me really, really close. Once, she put her hand in my skirt pocket to feel what the fabric felt like. Yep, that woman was interested in me. But, she was 20 years older than me and my boss. So, I stayed away from that. I've never had a straight female boss get touchy Feely with me.
     
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  5. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    I've never had a female boss flirt with me, but my hella gay wife gets weird attention from her straight, partnered coworkers/supervisors ALL THE TIME. Our theory has always been that it's a safe way for them to admit that they might be a Kinsey 1.5 and to acknowledge the truth that women look great in ties. Some combination of they're straight, she's married, and they're at work, so it's not a risk. The other theory is that women at work interact with each other through weird compliments (I love your shoes! I really value how on top of things you are! Let's talk about our diets! You're my favorite!) and the script just gets slightly off when not everyone is straight.

    Nothing your boss is doing sounds particularly flirty, except seen through the lens of your crush. Just like none of my coworkers thinking I'm super competent or my wife's boss admiring her tie pin is any kind of coming out party.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Admiring a gals' tie pin is super flirty, in my opinion.

    Though I agree that it is not necessarily a coming out party. Sometimes girls like to flirt in ways that are safe - it is a nice fantasy and a nice escape. It feels good to feel attractive and desirable. Much better than going home and arguing about who does the dishes. But in the end of the day, it is not something that they every intend to or want to act on, besides being a little flirty. All flirts do not escalate into sex, relationships, or anything beyond a little flirting.
     
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  7. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    It IS super flirty! Just like when they tell her she looks sharp, or ask her to teach their husbands how to tie a bow tie sometime. But it's not flirting-with-purpose, is my point. It's entertainment. I think a lot of workplace flirtation/camaraderie is exactly that, and it doesn't mean much.
     
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  8. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    On the mark and out of the park!
     
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  9. Frazier

    Frazier Well-Known Member

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    My take on it......Don't go there.Yes she has entered your personal space but for your own peace of mind,stop reading much into something that may not be.If its something more,it will pretty much surface....
     
    #9

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