Do you think she's straight? Do I have a chan...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by vigilante, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. vigilante

    vigilante Well-Known Member

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    So I have this enormous crush on a girl. She's the smart girl who wears a lot of sweater and drinks cocoa, she likes books, wears glasses and is unconventionally beautiful plus she likes the things I like. The first time I saw her, we both were waiting outside the room, she was reading a book and right there and there she got me intrigued. I never knew how to approach women, I'm shy and somewhat an introvert, but with this girl, I made a bold move (at least to me it was). I complimented her shirt, but she just smiled and said thanks. Her smile is the sweetest smile I've ever seen. It was hard to talk to her, because like me, she is super quiet. She barely talks to anyone in the class, she just reads a lot. I tried to talk to her again before our exam, I asked her if we can share notes and we did. Even if I know the answers and I asked her about a certain topic, she said at first she didn't really know but she came back to answer my question and explained it to me. It was hard to keep the convo alive as my heart beats really fast when I look at her, so I just went back to my seat. She went back to reading a book. I was trying to read the book cover when she pulled it down and our eyes met for a couple of seconds until I looked away. Another flop move. One monday I was surprised when she said hi to me first and smiled, I thought that would be the beginning of it but the following days were silent. I was too shy too approach her first. We sat far end from each other, while I was looking at her she caught me and I just turned away (I was hoping she won't see me as creepy). One time in class, I was called by our prof, standing beside her seat. I was reading my paper when I felt something warm at the back of my hand, and I saw it, she was holding her paper too, and the back of her hand brushed against mine. The following week I bumped into her and she waved and smiled at me. Then the week after that I was transferred to the middle seat, in the aisle. She was walking towards my direction but she just looked at me and ignored me. A day after that, I bumped into her together with a friend from the same class we have, she smile only at me and waved. My friend told me that she looked at me first even when she(my friend) was in front and that they're in the same class as we are. The next day, we were all asked to report in front, we forgot our rubrics. She saw my friend's on top of our prof's desk. She asked if it was mine and I said no but if she'd like a copy I'll have it together with mine. I gave her the copy and she said thank you and how much does she owe me, I said it was fine. She went to me and was handing me coins, she said it's all she can give. I said it's fine, she doesn't have to pay me. I was going in front when she called my name and said thank you. It was the sincerest thank you I've ever received plus she said my name. Also we're both wearing pink. Today, she approached me and ask if I studied for our exam, I can feel the awkwardness. We both stutter and face away while talking. I found out that the guy I'm sitting next to is her friend and of course he must've heard me and my friends talking about her, and me having a huge creeper crush on her. Do you think she knows? If she did, I'm happy she didn't get creeped out and ignore me completely. Actually, I made her laugh today. I was talking to our classmate and I must've said something funny and she was listening. She looked at me and laughed. It's a milestone. She rarely laugh in class. Just to add she seemed asexual, like she's not really into lovey-dovey things, but she's girly. Me, I'm the obvious lesbian, dyke/butch. So, I guess I was obvious from the start?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think she's straight? Do I have a ...

    If she is warming up to you, there is always a chance. Sounds like your persistence is paying off and good job stal...er...observing her.
     
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  3. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think she's straight? Do I have a ...

    You're not being a creepy stalker. If its okay, are you a college student of highschool student?

    Luckly, you don't live in Russia and homosexuality is becoming more open in this country. Its hard enough been young and shy to ask someone out on a date or that you LIKE them. Much more so when you are gay. Things were harder for us older folks.

    There are a lot of us who are SHY and introverted. You can work on the shyness part, but you can't change being introverted. Since I'm older, I used alcohol to loosen up. Even my future wife was so very shy when we first meet, she was like you when she was in school (from what she told me).

    Just because someone is quiet, doesn't mean they are asexual. They are doing a lot more thinking... and she is more shy than you. I'd say, she is showing signs of interests. You seem to already know the difference between bump and a touch.

    Watching TV last night with my girl, my hand rested on her foot. It was on purpose. And I then I felt light touching and holding her toes. Touching another person is an intimate thing, even if its not the "privates". Keeping doing what you are doing, have your friend let you know if she's watching you. People will subconsciously look at people they are interested in without noticing... until they are caught.

    So... you know she likes some of the things YOU like. So ask her to the movies and lunch. People do this all the time. "XYZ is coming out this weekend, I would love to watch it with someone else. Would you like watch it with me at the theater and have lunch there?"

    That is a day thing to do, on a Saturday. If people in class hears you, it doesn't mean anything.

    PS: Don't think of her as straight. Just an interesting person you like... a lot.
     
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  4. vigilante

    vigilante Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think she's straight? Do I have a ...

    I am actually in college, but I do talk like a highschooler (English is not my first language) :D

    About the "Bump/touch" I feel like it's more of a "lingering bump" than a touch. It did feel like a touch, but it really seemed accidental, I'm just glad she didn't took her hand away as fast as lightning.

    And btw It's really nice that you and your future wife found each other, you sound like a great couple! :)

    I planned on asking her out before our term ends, unfortunately, our days were cut off short. After the exam I didn't see her again. We're friends on facebook though, but we rarely interact there.

    Today was our first day for the new term, and I purposely wrote "There's this girl in my class, she looks like a tree frog... I like tree frogs". as my facebook status, since we don't know yet if were gonna have the same class again. I was surprised that she was the first one who liked it, and we rarely interact on fb. Do you think she can feel that she was the girl I was talking about?
     
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  5. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    Re: Do you think she's straight? Do I have a ...

    Well damn! The forum messed up and didn't post my reply. ugh. So this will be a short version.

    First, by chance I was here today... :) After a few weeks of being away.

    By all means, ask her out for drinks and catch up. And just be frank with her. If she says "uh... no. Sorry, didn't mean to seem like I LIKED you" - whatever. Just laugh it off with something like "Oh sorry! These things happen! I really find someone LIKE you attractive and I figured, I might as well ask". Keep an open mind... by being friends, maybe she'll meet someone else who could be a good match up. I referrer people all the time, gay or straight.

    No need to wait to meet in person... there is this weekend. Even with my wife, we were rather shy and TEXTED each other before our first real date, even thou we already had sex. So even through fb, ask her out.

    I'm introverted and shy myself. It took many years of experience and drinking to loosen up and meet people. I didn't really know her when she walked up to me and said "hi", even thou she noticed me for months dancing with others. But I bought her a drink, we danced a bit - holding her hand. I said she was "cute", which she shyly disagreed. I looked into her eye for a few seconds and suddenly kissed her. I didn't know he name 30 minutes earlier and we are making out in a club suddenly and now we are together, forever.

    You are still young, each experience - good and bad *IS* experience. You have nothing to lose by asking this girl. Better than spending months trying to figure things out... for all you know, the might have MISSED that "one" walking by because you are saving yourself for something that isn't there.

    From shyness, I've lost a lot of chances for romance in my 20s. It sucked. By all means, now or later - you'll need these experiences to know what may actually work for you in a relationship. There are MANY MANY factors for long-term to work. When I was young, such things were nothing more than fantasies. So get out, have fun, meet people.

    Things I think are important for a relationship to work with such Compatibility:
    - Personality
    - Physical attraction
    - sex
    Is that person a slob? Does her food make you gag? Does your jokes make her laugh? Is your taste in clothes embarrassing? Toilet paper... facing in our out? Sex is not just "sex"... is it compatible? Can you please & respect each other? There are people who won't do oral. There are gay men who DON'T do anal. Some girls like it when you suck on their ears... others may be grossed out and shove you away. etc.

    Good luck! Go for it.
     
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