Dilemma: Dating a girl who just got of a rela...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by 1154, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. 1154

    1154 Member

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    I just started dating this girl who just got out of a long term relationship a couple of months ago. She's bisexual. In addition to dating me, she is dating a guy as well but she says that she doesn't feel emotionally connected to the guy even though she continues to date him. We have gone out on two dates. On our second date things got pretty heavy quickly and we ended up making out on her bed. The day after she messaged saying that she doesn't want to hurt me and that she wasn't ready for things to become so physical more specially the kiss. The kissing bring out a lot of emotional feelings that she is not ready for. She said she hoped that there wasn't misunderstanding and that she doesn't want me to stop talking to her because of how she feels. She still has feelings for ex. She said that she wants to put off the physical side of the relationship on the back burner for a while until she's ready. I told her I was fine with that. But she mentioned that she thinks I don't realize what I am getting myself into with her and that she cares about me. She's been pretty honest with me about the whole situation from the get go but I just don't feel right with this situation. I feel like she has been a bit distant lately and it could be because she feels that things are moving too quickly which I get. But I really don't know what to do. I really like her but I feel this whole situation is not something I want to deal with.

    What should I do? Thanks.
     
    #1
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Re: Dilemma: Dating a girl who just got of a ...

    I would take her up on it and just give her space. But send her a holiday, bday holler every once in while. She doesn't sound ready at all and she is trying to protect you, so let her.

    Unless

    When you met her, she is someone you felt like that she had been there with you in every lifetime. Then I would wait by her door in the rain until she comes out. (See Cinema Paradiso.)
     
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  3. Oxy

    Oxy Member

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    Re: Dilemma: Dating a girl who just got of a ...

    I also agree on just giving her space and texting her every once in a while to see how she's doing, as a friend. She's not an option for dating right now. As for you, I would say put yourself back out there and meet/date other girls.
     
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  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Re: Dilemma: Dating a girl who just got of a ...

    She's letting you down easy. If she were into you, then she wouldn't be telling you the things she's telling you -- and she wouldn't be putting distance between you. Sure, she probably likes you but she probably doesn't see a long term relationship with you in her near future.

    If you enjoy dating her and having fun -- with no expectations of anything -- then continue to date her, but keep your options open as well. If you're looking for a quality relationship, then I wouldn't waste my time with her. She's made it clear she's not ready.
     
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  5. 1154

    1154 Member

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    Re: Dilemma: Dating a girl who just got of a ...

    Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.
     
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