Dealing with a disability in a relationship

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by just4fb, Jan 29, 2014.

  1. just4fb

    just4fb Member

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    I love and am married to my wife of 11 years. Two years ago she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis which has an effect on her sexual desire or stamina. During our 11 years our sex life has diminished and during some times, was non existent. I am an extremely sexual person and find that I want to pleasure myself more often then not. My wife is not a sexual person so the lack of sex in our relationship is a non-issue for her. She understands that sex means a lot to me and that her inability to perform has been a topic of conversation for us. I know that she loves me immensely, to the point that she has given me her blessing to an "open relationship", if I so chose. I honestly couldn't do that to my wife, knowing that it would hurt her, yet I have an overwhelming desire to fantasize about it.

    My question is, how do other women that have disabled partners get through the lack of sex in a relationship? Am I selfish?

    Thanks, Lisa
     
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  2. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Re: Dealing with a disability in a relationsh...

    Wow, that situation is really a bit of a pickle. On one hand, you want to stay true to your partner, and on the other hand your sexual needs aren't being met. While I'm not handicapped nor have I ever dated somebody who does have a handicap, I think it's ok to have fantasies. If she has given you her blessing, it's up to you whether you truly feel comfortable having sex with somebody else... as long as you don't think that it will make you stray!
     
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  3. madcookie

    madcookie Member

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    Re: Dealing with a disability in a relationsh...

    hey there lisa,
    your story isnt as strange as you may think. my partner and wife of 17 years had ms and it had a huge effect on all aspects of our life together. if you want to talk or ask about this, send me a pm.
    x mc
     
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