Dating New girl--where to go from here

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by GreenBeen, May 22, 2017.

  1. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Hey girls,

    I met a girl online. She initiated the whole thing, we went on three dates and we talk a lot, she initiated the second one too abd even wanted to see me the next day. We make out a lot, haven't had sex and talked a lot. She has never dated a girl but knows she wants to be with a girl.

    On our last date, i gave her a single flower. Her favourite flower and she loved it. We had a great time and she was going away to visit her brother for the weekend. She told me we'll see each other next week, to keep in touch and to let her know about my next tennis match since she wanted to go.

    So the next night I just sent her a text saying she was fun since she felt boring. She answers right away saying that she has been in a weird place, which is how we found each other in the first place and is really feeling it.

    I asked her what she meant by that, and she said that she's just in an overall confusion as where she and want she wants on. personal level. That she overthinks it, and that she feels everything else is grey on her life but thats where she is.

    I responded that it's not a bad thing to analyse where one is, that it is a good thing to be introspective.

    The next day I just wished her a nice trip and she answered right away, and that her wifi was off which is why she didn't reply to my other text. We just talked a bit, but she is away so it makes sense that she hasn't been talking much.

    I'm not sure what to think. It's not like she told me That she didnt want to see me anymore but she did mention confusion.

    Should i just wait and let her initiate or wait a few days and ask her to hang out?
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Yes, just chill out and let her initiate. You don't want things to be too one sided.
     
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  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I think sending her a nice card to welcome her back and wait for her to text you back would be a nice gesture. Her answering your texts immediately and explaining when there was a delay are good signs. This is an exciting time, getting to know someone, just enjoy it and be your normal, sweet self and you will be fine! :)
     
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  4. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    So far it does seem well. The only concern I had was when She brought up that she is confused as to what she wants in her personal life. Also that I havent heard from her since saturday night, we had talked a bit and she stopped responding. Of course, she has to connect to wifi and she was away, and was probably busy. Im just going to wait another day then perhaps initiate. We had three incredible dates, it all seems a lot more positive than negative, the onlt negative was those two points that I brought up.
     
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  5. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    I have a bad habit of overthinking haha. On the plus side, seeing this girl kind of buried the feelings i had for my best friend. We'll see whqt happens, its only 11 am and i didnt hear from her ah dating makes me nervous.
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    It's only been a few days. Give her some space. If she is confused and you keep initiating, she will feel pressured. Don't contact her today. Wait until at least the end of the week .
     
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  7. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    You're right. I'll just let her contact me or wait until the end of the week. It'll give her time to clarify her confusion. If its meant to be it's meant to be. I am sure she will come around. We have such a great time on our dates, we only had three but like I said the only negatives are what I mentioned. We haven't had sex yet but we'd make out a lot and embrace each other.
     
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  8. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    I just really want to talk to her. Its like an itch i can't scratch. But i must wait hahah
     
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  9. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I can understand that, it is futile to suppress these emotions but you can still temper your reactions and what you do. So, it is not about going to the source and cut off what you feel but to learn to control what you do even when you have feelings.

    When I like someone, I want them to know this is how much I like someone, I don't really hold back on communications based on that. But in this case, you are concerned about what she said and she is traveling. Texting is the worst way to figure out what's going on sometimes. So, in this case, giving her space is a sign of politeness.
     
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  10. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Yes I will give her space. She came back from her trip monday evening. So I will simply just let it be. If she doesn't contact me by the end of the week I figure she just either is not interested/confused. It is hard to tell because from that text her of her being confused it was simply her saying that she has been in a weird place for a while and overthinks what she wants on a personal level. She could have said "I don't think I want us to see each other anymore" but she didn't say any of that. I just have to give her space.
     
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  11. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    I don't want to be negative but the more time passes and I still didn't hear from her the more I think shes not interested. i havent met a girl I liked in a long time, thats why im overthinking this.
     
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  12. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    So, she has been back since Monday. I don't think it is unusual to send one message saying hi and how was your trip. Just the off chance that she did not get your messages before. I don't know how many of them you have sent. If she is interested, and she has been back for a couple days, I would not find that so off-putting.
     
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  13. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Also, if she DOES find it off-putting, then you have different needs around communication, and that gives you some useful information about whether this is going to work out. If what you need is some consistent contact and information, and what she needs is undefined "space" to work it out, that does not match up. Neither of you is out of line, but your needs and expectations are different.
     
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  14. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Oh no I didn't send many messages at all we just briefly talked on saturday and simply just wished her a happy trip. i just sent her a sinple smiley Tonight and she responded not long after. i was busy so I will perhaps ask her out/ask how was trip tomorrow.
     
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  15. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    After she responded last night, I simply asked her to come join me for a drink sometime this week. She still hasnt answered. i know i may be overthinking this but it has been over 6 hours :/

    And also Im not a clingy texter at all. All I did over the weekend was wish her a nice trip and just a bit of talking.

    i waited all the way until last night to send her a small smiley with her name and she responded the same.
     
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  16. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Nevermind girls, she answered saying she was busy the rest of the week but that next week would work. I am relieved haha
     
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  17. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Update:

    So we went on a date. We talked about and she clarified her confusion, she said it is not because she is not interested in me. She wants to keep on getting to know me and see where it goes. We hung ot for over 4 hours and we kissed a lot. She even mentioned the next date. The next day she sent me a picture of her paintings and I sent her my music since I am a musician. She hasn't replied though but it's only been 2 days.

    When we left She wasnt sure when exactlt she was going to be free but that we would keep in touch.

    My best friend whom I had enormous feelings for has been weird about it. I tell her about the girl and she just says negative things about her. About her looks, her art, And jokingly says how she has competition. It's just strange. I sense some kind of jealousy.
     
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  18. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, you're weird gameplaying immature bestie is jealous. But she doesn't get to keep you on the hook and tell you how she will drop you as soon as a dude comes along. Quit telling bestie about new girl. And enjoy getting to know new girl, I am happy for you.
     
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  19. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    You are sensing jealousy because she is jealous. Stop talking to her about this girl, stop listening to her criticism, and let her know that she doesn't have "competition" because you are not dating her.
     
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  20. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Yes I found it odd the criticism, and she got warmer with me and sits on me and lets me be touchy with her a lot more ever since i met this girl. It is strange because she goes from hot to cold behaviour. If she liked me she should have made a move or be hobest once in for all and not this denial bullshit closet crap.

    Regardless, my interest is focused more on the new girl.
     
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