dating etiquette

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Re28, May 7, 2017.

  1. Re28

    Re28 New Member

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    Hey guys just need some advise please :)
    I started dating recently again
    I put a profile up and matched with a really nice girl. After two failed relationships I feel I know exactly what I'm looking for and have kind of like a check list, this girl seems to match to what I'm looking for but to be honest I don't know what she's looking for right now as we havenot discussed this yet , they were both pretty positive dates with holding hands and kissing .
    there is a few things bothering me -
    1) who should contact who first after the date to thank them- I waited for her to contact me after the first date but after a day she didn't , so I did. Same with the second date I contacted her first . Which makes me think she's not all that interested? To me thanking someone for spending time with you is just manners and so that is something that's bothering me. who should thank who first?!

    2) I asked her out twice for these two dates and I made it clear that I wanted to see her again, I messaged her to let her know and her response was that seeing each other again would be nice but the message wasn't enthusiastic , also she waited two days to reply. I replied confirming that I was keen and we chatted about other stuff. This was a week ago . I haven't asked her out cus my gut feeling is that I should wait for her to ask me out for a third date cus I don't wanna be too overbearing ! Are there any rules on this and what would you do?

    thanks all <3
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I think if I like someone, I want to go all in and thank them for the date and send little simple things to let them know I had enjoyed our time together. That is independent of them. I find counting time and putting up a ledger of who's contacted whom for how long is a bit exhausting. I would only like people who are just as enthusiastic and into me back. Or I would just move on. You have a good instinct of your date's level of interest, it seems and I would trust it.
     
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    Spygirl likes this.
  3. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Actions speak louder than words. If she's not making any effort -- then, well, to me that's sending a strong signal. It takes 2 to make a relationship work -- even if you're not at that stage of the game yet. She could be giving you subtle hints that she's not that interested in you and hoping that her inaction speaks volumes. Or, giving the benefit of the doubt, she could be shy....(but I'm thinking no)....

    In your heart, I think you already know -- if enthusiasm is there, things should be a certain way. If you're doing all the work and she's making no effort to suggest a date, then I think you have your answer, whether she speaks it or not.
     
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  4. Re28

    Re28 New Member

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    I think I already knew that but needed to hear it. Thanks <3
     
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    Spygirl, greylin and Bluenote like this.

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