Damn

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by florence88, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. florence88

    florence88 Member

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    It's been a couple of months now and damn, I miss her.

    There's absolutely no chance of getting back together after a failed marriage (previous thread explained that specific situation) but the aching and pain is too much to bare at times.
    I miss everything about her even though she broke my heart.

    Does it ever get better?
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Please take heart because it does get easier. Then it will get better until you will have incorporated this into an experience that you may use one day when you chance upon a potential mate, when you are good and ready for that to happen.

    Try doing some anti-ex things. Things you are free to do now that she is not arround. Buy a couple of things that are sensible to you but not her. I hope that helps. Glad you are bravely processing such raw feelings and talking about it.
     
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  3. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    Yes, it will get better. It is painful now but that feeling will pass with time. Getting over a heartbreak does not happen overnight. That's one of the things I learned - there is really no best way to fix a broken heart other than time.

    When I was going through a separation (it was an ltr), my best friend told me that one day, someone will walk into my life and make me realize why it never worked out with her. It was hard to believe it then but it was true because that's what happened, someone better came along. So yeah, it may be awful now but believe me, it will get better.
     
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  4. florence88

    florence88 Member

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    Thank you Greylin and RAC.

    It's been extremely up and down. One minute I feel positive and think "these things happen for a reason" then suddenly it hits me hard, I never imagined this happening when we made a vow.

    I've tried all sorts of things to distract my mind when it happens, thankfully my attention span will last long enough to read a few chapters of a book, or I've done a lot of the stress relief colouring books.

    I even got a tattoo the other day and all I kept thinking whilst it was getting done was "I bet she won't like this....what will she say?" When it no longer matters, it's my body and my choice but she lingered in my brain for a while.

    It's just the pain, you never realise how bad it is until you have to go through it and it's bloody difficult.
     
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  5. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    I went through all those stages - devastation, grief, self-loathing, anger, even the 'I have to forgive her so I can have peace... Nope, not ready. She is evil' phase. And I'm not proud to admit it but I even did a few ONS. I went through all that stuff every Heartbreak 101 book covered. I did all that until I finally calmed down and I cared less and less and it became just a thing that happened to me. Now, I simply don't care anymore.

    I'm not saying it was easy; it was very difficult and it took me some time to get over what happened. I know words sometimes feel empty at this stage. I just want to give you the comfort of knowing that this, too, shall pass. It will get better.
     
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