Cut from the bridal party

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by nfernandez345, Feb 23, 2014.

  1. nfernandez345

    nfernandez345 Active Member

    Oct 29, 2013
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    My partner got a text from our soon to be step-sister-in-law (the bride) last night to inform her that she wouldn't be part of the bridal party any longer. They have been close friends for a couple of years and even as recently as a month ago the bride was talking about how she was excited to have my partner be a bridesmaid. Obviously, my partner is hurt by this as she considers the bride to be one of her best friends.

    The three remaining bridesmaids are straight, girly-girls... so I think it really puts an elephant in the room considering that my partner is really tomboyish with short dykey hair and a number of tattoos (sidenote: as far as I'm concerned, she the hottest thing on the planet :cool: ). It's pretty obvious to me that she's been cut from the bridal party because of how she looks, and I'm really floored that the bride is willing to damage her relationship with us considering that she's marrying into the family. We're always present and active with every family function, so it's not like she won't be seeing us often.

    Now I'm wondering if we should even go to the wedding. I honestly feel like this whole thing has been a giant slap in the face and I really don't want to spend ANY of my hard-earned money on someone who doesn't appreciate having us in their lives. Clearly, we're not good enough for them. But at the same time, like I already said, this is someone we're going to be face-to-face with on a regular basis.

    Please let me know your thoughts or if you've had a similar thing happen that you don't mind sharing.
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    Seems pretty rude to me. I'd politely decline to attend the wedding, because it seems that there's some caving to peer pressure or what other people think are "acceptable." At the same time, I'd convey this message to the bride. Be cordial but firm. Tell her why you're not going to go to the wedding.

    Acceptance is one of the most precious gifts someone can give to those perceived as "different" and your sister-in-law just proved that her actions with respect to you show how: (1) easily she is influenced by others and (2) she can't stand up for soon-to-be family.
  3. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

    Jan 25, 2014
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    Sorry to hear that. Its an insult... and its hurtful. It sounds like the family is aware of your relationship and are okay with it. So they should get over it. Having short hair and tattoos doesn't have to mean "lesbian" anyway.

    If she wants your partner to look more girlie, maybe perhaps a wig at most. But a woman in dress is still a woman in a dress.

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