Coworker crush

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by staringatthesun, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. staringatthesun

    staringatthesun Well-Known Member

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    Ok so I will keep this short and simple. I've had a huge crush on a girl I work with for years. I know for a fact she is gay but not out at work and I do not know if shes very "out" at all. Btw I do not know if she knows I like girls.

    Ever since we started working together things just feel "different" with her. Sometimes she acts very tense around me..and almost uptight but she seems more laid back around other coworkers. Oddly she always seemed to be brushing her hands against mine. We would talk for long periods of time, but ONLY if we were in a group.

    On one occasion I asked her to come with me to see an acquaintance we both know and she just stopped answering my messages. So I dropped it. We got friendlier again after awhile. Even when I ask her for things relating to the job, sometimes she will just get real "short" with me and just quickly ending the convo and walking away from me.

    We no longer are in the exact same area at work. I have recently needed her to get something for me "job related" and she was fine til I mentioned maybe we could catch up in person for me to get the stuff.


    What is going on with this girl? Does she like me? Hate me? Why does she seem so uncomfortable sometimes around me but so fine at other times esp if we are in a group?
     
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  2. carabella

    carabella Well-Known Member

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    I would be interested in seeing how ppl respond to this as I'm not in an entirely unrelated situation! Co-worker crushes are the worst, it's almost torture seeing each other every day and then over-analyzing things.
     
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  3. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    There are two possible scenarios here: She is interested and is an awkward person or she realizes your interest and she is completely uninterested in you.

    For me, I am very awkward when I find someone attractive. I have the tendency to do the exact opposite of what would be indicative of flirting or courting behaviors. This includes, but is not limited to, avoidance, awkward silences, and blank expressions. Yes, this is probably why I am single, but overall my love life has been surprisingly successful up until recently (I swear). I have to be both comfortable and attracted to someone in order for my behavior to be considered "normal" flirting behavior but I am rarely both attracted to and comfortable with someone.

    On the other hand, a lot of the behaviors she is displaying show a complete lack of interest in you. I have had awkward interactions with people who I am not interested in but who have expressed interest in me. I will remove myself from any situation that would leave me alone with him/her. I would also probably ignore any suggestions of hanging out outside of work, unless it was with a group of people who we worked with.

    I think considering you two have worked together for years and you have made a few attempts to spend time with her outside of the workplace, but she has made absolutely no effort to reciprocate this interest, you should look elsewhere. She will either be relieved or she will realize that she should probably make an effort. Either way, don't waste your time on anyone who does not make an effort for you.
     
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  4. MizzLadyPants

    MizzLadyPants Well-Known Member

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    I agree completely with cricket... I mean I could write basically the same thing in my own words; But I feel like that sums it up.
    She's either painfully shy with women she's attracted to ( Not unlike myself lol) Or she can feel how attracted you are to her & she does not feel the same.
    But either way maybe you should try & forget about it for awhile; Just try to focus on work while your at work.
     
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  5. staringatthesun

    staringatthesun Well-Known Member

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    Thank your for your responses, they are really well thought out. I think you're right and it's good to at least hear that it's not in my head....she does feel "different" around me, either it could be really good or really bad but she still acts odd around me.

    I guess I was just a little insulted that she seems sometimes so "short" to me when it is just strictly work stuff being spoken about. I probably also should have mentioned she was my supervisor, which made it more awkward.

    We have run into each other once outside of work while i was with a friend, where she proceeded to run up to me all friendly, only to run off to sit elsewhere in the same transportation we were both getting on by herself. But after half hour and transferring to another transportation train, she decided to come up and sit with me and a friend. She acts so strange sometimes. Awkward.
     
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  6. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    *facepalm*

    Her being your supervisor changes this entire story. If your company has any rules about supervisor/employee relations then even if she does like you, she is trying to be professional and maintain her job. She is ignoring your requests to hang out because she is your supervisor and is trying to be professional. And she might also like you, but again, the job thing is probably more important to her.

    Regardless, she is/was your supervisor and/or is in a position of power at your work place. Do not put her in a tough spot. I myself am a supervisor and understand that as a human being, the struggle is real. Do not make it any harder for her. If she was willing to put her job on the line, she would have crossed the line a long time ago. Don't yank her over when she is trying to do the right thing.
     
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  7. Cricket

    Cricket Well-Known Member

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    (double post)
     
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  8. staringatthesun

    staringatthesun Well-Known Member

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    We worked together for most of the time while this was happening. We do not actually work together at the moment. So I guess we will see what happens..now is the real test lol.
     
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