Converting Your Sexuality

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Erica James, Jun 10, 2015.

  1. Erica James

    Erica James New Member

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    Hello Everyone,

    I have been thinking about doing something for the past couple of years or so and wanted to know if this sounds like a good idea or not. Well, there is a procedure where a surgeon can rework the human brain and change a person’s sexuality. It is similar to a lobotomy that doctors use to perform on mental patients years ago where they jab an ice pick like stick into the brain and change the person’s personality. Well in this case it would be changing the person’s sexuality, except sexuality is really complex so the procedure can only devoid the person of a sexuality.

    Alright, I’m going to cut straight to the chase, basically I want to have a procedure done that will make me asexual. I have told some of my [online] friends about it and they all assume it is a bad idea. They say that I am too young (I’m 26) to have something done to me that will make me asexual. It’s just that I have talked to some asexual people (alright 2) and how they described it makes it seem so much better than being bi/homosexual or even heterosexual. I know many of my heterosexual [again online] friends who feel the same way that I do sometimes that asexuals just do not deal with. They don’t have to worry about feeling sexually frustrated or sexually confused or sexually anything because they don’t have the arousal and sexual attraction that causes all of these problems.

    I have just been struggling so much lately about this that I feel that if I was asexual then I would no longer feel so horny all the time or feel so depressed all the time, this whole thing has gotten me feeling lousy and awful. Maybe it’s because I was recently rejected by a straight girl (again) or that I feel so lonely and feel that if I was asexual then I wouldn’t feel as lonely….

    If you could do this, would you?

    Thanks everyone!!
     
    #1
  2. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.
    Perhaps you should try changing how you're living life before turning yourself into a zombie. You know what else they do to "mental patients"? They hook them up to electricity and shock the hell out of them. Doesn't that sound fun?!

    I would start going on dates with girls I know are gay, go make some new gay friends, and go see a doctor about the depression. Hopefully the lobotomy doctor sends you to some therapy first too. Smh!

    Never fuck with your brain unless you've got a tumor in there.
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    1) is this a fake post?

    2) how is that medically ethical?

    3) is this a fake post?

    4) if this really exists, why the fuck don't they do it to rapists and child molesters?
     
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    Last edited: Jun 10, 2015
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  4. Erica James

    Erica James New Member

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    Alright, first of all I live in a small town so I don't know how you expect me to meet any gay girls to date unless I drive three hours to the nearest city to do so and I have seen a therapist, four actually in the course of my lifetime.
    And obviously the doctor wouldn't conduct an actual surgery for this as even a simple procedure done by an experienced surgeon can have complications. I would most take a tablet that would affect that part of my brain. Plus it's a study being done so it's new and unheard of for now unless there are significant results.

    Also, why would this be a fake post? Most people can't make up something like this up.
     
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  5. Emm

    Emm Well-Known Member

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    I really hate to state the obvious but wouldn't it be easier to drive 3 hours than have someone stick an icepick in your head and fiddle around to hit the asexual g-spot? I mean, how the hell would you explain that to a future girlfriend?
    "Yeah, I couldn't be arsed driving so I got ice-picked to the brain because I kept hitting on straight girls and it frustrated me"
    ....I'm going to get whiplash from SMDH...
     
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  6. Erica James

    Erica James New Member

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    I'm going to assume that everyone lives in area where there are a surplus of openly gay women? Because it sounds like it. And I don't plan on telling my future girlfriend anything because I don't plan on having a future girlfriend and if I did then I will just tell her I'm assxual, like I assume asexual people do.
     
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  7. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    where did you hear such a surgery from?
     
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  8. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    1) Sometimes anti-gay people troll the boards.

    2) You live in a town that is so small that there are no lesbians, but there is a Doctor doing cutting edge research on sexuality? Does the Doctor happen to live in a creepy old castle?

    3) I don't think that becoming asexual would solve your problems. Sex and affection are not the same things. Even if you didn't have a sex drive, you would still yearn for connection to another woman. My marriage isn't just based on banging my wife. She is also my partner in life. We share all this stuff like morning coffee, nature walks, a snarky sense of humor, having each others backs, etc...

    4) I used to live in a small town. I moved - to get better opportunities, to get away from my family, to go somewhere less homophobic.

    5) How is this medically ethical?
     
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  9. Just Me

    Just Me Well-Known Member

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    This is seriously the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

    "Hey guys! Straight girls keep rejecting me and I can't stand being horny all the time. In stead of moving out of my small town and doing something with my life I'm going to cut up my brain so I never want sex again. :) whatcha think?"

    And then you try and defend this genius plan with the excuse of: "I'm too lazy to drive a few hours for love. Don't any of you come from a small town."

    Sounds like true stories from a "mental patient"; go get your lobotomy and enjoy it kid! :)

    I would personally try to move the fuck out of your small town if it's so shitty though. In fact, I have done it, because small towns are a fucking nightmare. So don't come around saying absurd shit like you have. You're friends are right. You're 26. You're young and very dumb for even considering this when you can drive 3 fucking hours to freedom. You're not in Russia, Iraq, Africa, or any nation where you'll get picked off the street BY GOVERNMENT and stoned to death. You know what stoned to death means?! It's not getting high, it's getting rocks thrown at you. Fucking rocks. Until you die.

    You have the choice of freedom and you want to remove a chunk of your brain to be an experimentation?

    Seriously?... I've officially read it all on these forums.
     
    #9
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  10. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    There's nothing wrong with getting confused. A lot of us, maybe all of us here, were confused at some point in our lives. You asked if this (I don't even know what to call it... procedure? treatment? quackery?) is a good idea... it is not. How about you look into getting therapy instead? Doing what you mentioned, even if it's true and I honestly don't think so, may not help you with your real issues.

    If getting professional help (and by that I mean therapy from medically licensed doctors) is not possible, maybe we can help. You can talk about it here if you want (fyi, these are really nice and very helpful people. We just get frustrated with incredibly unbelievable posts sometimes and there's been a few lately.) Just knowing someone out there listens sometimes help. If you don't necessarily want our advice, just writing about it also helps (pm is an option, too.)
     
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  11. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    I get the OPs frustration. If you had offered 19 year old me a chance to de-gay herself somehow, I might have gone for it.

    My problems seemed so big and the resources I had were so small.

    But things got better. They got better because I fought to make them better. Moving, coming out, getting therapy. And they got better because the world got better- less homophobia, more compassion.

    The 'treatment ' might be complete bullshit, but the op's pain is real. There's better ways to cope than a sketchy lobotomy.
     
    #11
  12. rac

    rac Well-Known Member

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    And I'm totally with you on that. And what I really tried to say (in so many words which is a fault of mine) is doing what she mentioned is not the cure. Getting into the real cause of her pain is. And that means maybe talking to someone...
     
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  13. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure if this is a fake post or not. But, I've never heard of that procedure. If you can provide some reputable literature on it, please post it. Otherwise, it sounds like a rouse. Much like religious conversion camps or conversion therapy. I also find it highly unlikely that romanticism, lust, love, and the like are controlled by only one portion of the brain which can be "pricked by an ice pick" to change it. That being said, if the procedure is possible, it is high probable that altering one area of the brain will affect other aspects of not only your personality, but of other cognitive based activities (which is almost all physiological, as well as psychological, behaviors). I would urge you to do extensive research beyond testimonials or reviews or reading a surgeon's website on this procedure--instead, look deeply and analytically into medical literature and publications. Read up on how this works, what the risks are, the side affects, and even if it is reversible (many people change their minds on and off--you can't predict your future thoughts).

    Second. I sense that what you largely need is a lifestyle change, rather than a physiological change. Your depression can be overcome with therapy, as can any feelings battling in you: like all of those you have expressed here in this post (frustration, loneliness, desire to change, etc). There is no shame in therapy. It is not for "crazy" people, it is for all people and it can really help you learn things about yourself and solve things yourself, as long as you are willing to give yourself some much needed attention. Therapy can also be conducted in the absence of medications, so don't worry that they will just 'drug you up.' Therapy is a great opportunity to have the ultimate 'me time,' where you and another can focus completely on YOU and how you feel.

    I would recommend that you not worry so much for labels. I am mostly asexual; I rarely experience lust and the like. But, be warned, the term asexual is packed for more than you are considering it. It is defined in many ways by the person itself. Asexuals can still be homo- or heteroromantic and experience love and crushes. They also can feel arousal and can be horny (a lot or a little). Arousal is a physical state and it won't go away from picking at your brain.

    It sounds like you expressing 'sexual frustration' means you need to find yourself a better sexual routine. That doesn't mean have sex with a bunch of people--that is something that is your choice (and yes, if you wanted to have more sex with other people, you would surely find those people). That means you need to consider more 'alone time,' if you get my drift. WHICH, by the way, can be a regular activity for asexuals. It is for me. Masturbation--it's like scratching an itch...and for many asexuals, you'd rather take care of it by yourself because you don't feel the need for others to do it or maybe you just don't care for it too much, so you like to get it over with and ease the rampant hormones.

    That being said, sexual frustration is part of being within our age group. Believe it or not, many people, men and women, like you feel that it is impacting their lives negatively. But, life is not without challenges.

    Lastly, sex--or abating physical arousal or lust--has nothing to do with company. You appear to have a huge misunderstanding that no sex and loneliness are the same thing. That is not true. You should combat loneliness by re-evaluating your own needs. Do you need more like minded friends? Do you need closer friends? Are your current friends and family having strong relationships with you? Are these relationships what you want them to be, or are they lacking something that you'd care for? Do you tire of human companionship; perhaps, you'd like a pet or another way to spend your time?

    Try to make a list of things you have. Then, a list of how you currently feel. Then, a list of what you want to feel and what you want to have. Next, piece together what in your lifestyle is causing you to feel the way you do and what you have---consider, how to change it to get what you want. Many recognize that sexuality is often not the root of the problem, but other things are...which then affect your perspective on other aspects of your life.

    Surgery that makes you asexual (and again, this doesn't sound plausible) greatly sounds like an easy fix. I suspect that even after you get it, you will remain feeling the way you do, but move on to blame other things besides your sexual desires.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 10, 2015
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  14. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Man, if my single, frustrated self had been able to turn the wanting off - yeah, sure, maybe I would have wanted to do it. So I get the impulse, I really truly do.

    But here's the thing. Putting aside that this kills the symptom without addressing the cause, your brain is a super super complicated, finely tuned instrument. There's not a magic spot that a surgeon can remove and guarantee that it will have the effect that you want, and only that effect. Lobotomies - which are what you are talking about - will permanently, unpredictably change your brain and and the way it works, and by extension your personality and deepest self. You'll be asexual*, maybe-but-probably-not, but you could be a completely different person.

    Lobotomies, like electroshock therapy, are last resorts to problems that medical science doesn't know how to solve, or doesn't want to really figure out, or that we as a society haven't figured out how to address yet - historically, severe, paralyzing depression, schizophrenia, chronic phantom pain, or for no reason at all. I guess in the town you live in, you feel like dykitude is on that list, but there are lots of places where it doesn't take brain changes to make being a lesbian possible and pleasant, and I'd be willing to bet money that there ARE lesbians in your tiny town, you just don't know them or know that they're gay. Addressing those hurdles seems like a better starting place, and if you're out of ideas, we can probably propose a few.

    Hats off to @Bluenote, @mirage, and the other folks who have offered real and solid advice. I'm there with them 100% - and agree that this sounds like a pretty dramatic solution to a temporary problem.

    *ALSO, I'd just like to say that there are people who are asexual, who are still homo- or heteroromantically oriented. No sex drive doesn't stop you being gay, and having to deal with the desire for love and partnership.
     
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  15. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

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    Just me, thanks for the laugh and for saying what we're all thinking.

    Erica, why would you chose to be asexual instead of just being straight? If the real problem is not being able to meet other lebians in your home town then why not just lobotomize yourself straight? Are there no men in your town either? Or, maybe you are a bit introverted and find it difficult approaching people in person. Your initial query states that your friends are all online. I suggest you get off your phone, tablet or computer and meet other people In real time. Frankly, you'll never know if there's someone out there until you look.

    Oh, and maybe you seriously believe the cure for sexual orientation exists, but it doesn't. It's bullshit. Plus, they used to do lobotomies on people a lot in the 1950s just for the hell of it. They turmed into living zombies. Don't believe everything you hear.
     
    #15

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