Confused

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Bklyn8516, May 25, 2015.

  1. Bklyn8516

    Bklyn8516 Member

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    hi AE members! My name is Dee and I signed up on here a while ago. I don't really post or reply on anyone's posts. Today, I wanted to come on here and just rant on my confusing sexuality because I feel like I have no one who really does understands. Okay so here goes....

    I always knew since I was younger that I had certain feelings for girls but never really explored my feelings, just always kept them hidden bottled up. I've been bottling up my feelings for girls for many years. Lately I just been feeling like I'm suffocating from holding back my feelings. I feel curious, about girls. I do want to explore that side but I'm also scared. I recently opened up to my best friend about it and she said to just go out there and see what happens. To try it out with a girl and see if I like it. I just hate feeling confused and hate the fact that I don't have someone in my life who can fully understand what I'm going through. I just also would love to meet new people who can just understand where I'm coming from.
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Hi Dee, I think if you suppress something long enough, it either come bursting out in a moment of clarity or it can go sideways where you feel confused or simply numb. Whatever you are feeling, it has been brewing for a long time and I am glad you are seeking support here. Wherever you fall on the spectrum of sexuality, I know from experience here that you will be welcomed. There is a thread here, in fact a couple of them that is talking about people being penpals. Also, I can't emphasize enough how much it can help in checking the "coming out" section. Don't think it is only for the brave women on the front lines boldly declaring their orientation to everyone. It is for the journey of self discovery, acceptance just like any forums of people who are going through similar things. You are not alone. *hugs*
     
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  3. Bklyn8516

    Bklyn8516 Member

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    Thank you so much for your message! I do feel welcomed here. I'm interested in becoming penpals with people. It's always good talking to people who are in similar situations or just anyone who can relate. Thank you again for your reply. :) *hugs*
     
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  4. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    Hey, Dee! Welcome to posting ^_^ We're happy to have you.

    Bottling it up--we all have been there or are still there. It's not unusual. My best advice is not to care for labels so much. You don't have to be just straight or just gay or just bisexual 50:50. Sexuality is fluid. Now that you've recognized you'd like to spend more time exploring your tendency towards women, you have to figure out what you want. Do you want to explore that side sexually? Or emotionally? Are you interested in a relationship? Or a lay? Both? That will dictate where you go to meet people and how you will approach them. The vibe of one or the other is also easy to pick up--especially for women! We are so in tune with each other.

    It's really hard having no one that really understands where you are. Like friends are key to working out our life problems and experiences. I also don't have any friends who really understand me. The ones I did, I have separated from as life takes us different places. I'm still working on how to get some (it's harder when you're antisocial like me, lol!). But, the best way to do it is to join a LGBTQ club or support group. Go to community events or hang out in the LGBTQ designated part of the city or area where you live, if you have one. Obviously, looking for a sexual experience may drive you toward a bar or club. Be safe, is my only recommendation. Meeting people on a dating website or app could also be a window of opportunity.

    Penpals! Definitely talk to us on AE! It'd be nice to have a more active and interconnected community. The purpose here is support and bringing like-minded individuals together. So, don't be afraid to reach out or send a message! :p :)
     
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  5. Bklyn8516

    Bklyn8516 Member

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    Thank you for the reply! Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply back to you sooner. Every since Thursday, been binge watching OITNB lol. But yeah, it's always hard keeping feeling inside and not having friends who understand you. Then again, I sometimes don't understand myself lol. Lately I've been realizing, like how you mentioned about labels, to just not care for them. I am who I am and I shouldn't necasseraly care for labels just because society expects us too. I'm also socially awkward at times so makes it hard to make new friends lol. I like meeting new people just can be awkward at times. Penpals, is something I'm comfortable with. So hey, if you want a penpal and want to chat you can e-mail me. It'll be nice to talk to someone new. ([email protected]) thank you again for the reply :)
     
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  6. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Here's the deal....straight girls don't obsess about wanting to experiment with women. Sure...a straight girl might have a college fling or whatever...but there's not this overwhelming feeling of being suffocated from holding back feelings for girls that you're expressing. Having those feelings and acknowledging them are two separate things. Me, personally, I fought those feelings...and it was a losing battle.

    The best thing I can say is to allow yourself to be honest with the person you are. Everything ..community, friends, etc. will flow from that. Go out and meet people within the community to help you on this journey...this website is a good resource to talk with others who are in similar situations as you.
     
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    nicolenihon, rac and Bluenote like this.
  7. SDBonVivant

    SDBonVivant Member

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    The great thing about this site is I believe that almost every AE member has been through or is going through what you are and can provide advice on every facet of this experience. If you would like another person to gain insight from, I am game on this penpal idea!
     
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