confused or in denial?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by sofakingsweet, Aug 25, 2013.

  1. sofakingsweet

    sofakingsweet Well-Known Member

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    Let me start off by saying, I've liked this girl since hs and thought I was over her but apparently she's been on my mind a lot lately and I can't help it.

    So, a few friends and I went out dancing for my guy friend's bday. We proceeded to get drunk and started dancing, nothing to fancy. We then lose sight of some of our friends and me and her, lets call her Ash, are alone. We go to the restroom and when we're done she holds my hand and says "Don't let go of my hand". We then go to the dance floor get another drink and after that we just start dancing like no one is watching. I mean straight up grinding on each other for the rest of the night. She grabs my hands and directs them towards her thighs and then on to her, you know, special area ;). We've never crossed these boundaries before and I am loving it. We both feel on each other and I'm breathing on her neck, smelling her hair, biting her back and neck. I can see other people looking at us, but we don't care we continue to do our thang. Next thing you know it's over and we have to leave, still holding hands. Nothing else happens after, and we don't talk about what happened. A few days later she texts me saying she wants to go dancing again. I'm shocked because I didn't see this coming. So we go out again the next weekend and it's just me and Ash. We go to the restroom and pee in the same stall this time but nothing happened. We take a shot and start dancing and next thing I know we're grinding on each other again! Hands all over each other, super sexual. Some guy wanted to dance with her but she just got closer to me and continued dancing. All in all I had a great time. BUT she continues to say she isn't into girls, even though she's had a gf for about 6 yrs on and off again but they've been over. We have this really strong connection, we're really good friends. I can't help but feel that we belong together. After that night, I drunk txt her saying that she still has that effect on me and if I have it on her. She said that girls don't do it for her. But she didn't answer my question. Is she afraid to be with me? Or does she really just not like me? I mean who dances like that with their lesbian friend and doesn't have it mean anything? Am I in denial and if I am how do I get rid of this misery that this girl has on me? How do I finally get over her because it's been too long and I'm sick of wanting her. SIGH, I can't control what my heart wants, it wants what it wants.
     
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  2. S6ixtyF4our

    S6ixtyF4our Member

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    I know how you feel.

    It seems like she is in denial, she like the attention you are giving her. She wants to play around but don't want a relationship. However, she doesn't know that its hurting you because you want more out of it.

    I say go out again and try to kiss her or be more like a lady and talk to her about it. Dont let the so call "straight" girl play with your feelings.

    I have a friend just like her but I know she is just a big flirt to everyone men and women, so I play along and not take it seriously.
     
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  3. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    I think it is safe to say that this is a 'thing' for you, you think about it and you have been 'intimate' with her. They responses she has given you verbally in response to your need for clarification are dismissive. She treats whatever is going on with you two as 'no thang' in a way and have discouraged you from talking about it. But really, it is a thing...You guys are touching each other 'n what not, so I would say that you should assert yourself verbally around this issue. Ask her properly and seriously what she feels about what you guys do, and if you don't 'do it' for her, why then is she engaging with you sexually? Despite her non-committal approach to talking about it, you do have a right to ask and know. If you don't get the answer you want, well, maybe it's better to know now than later. But really, you shouldn't let her dictate everything...assert yourself, as is your right as one half of this thing...whatever it is.
     
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  4. Eva Mac

    Eva Mac Well-Known Member

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    ^^ On the money as usual Moses :)
     
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  5. sofakingsweet

    sofakingsweet Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for you responses guys! Keep em coming. And Moses, your're insight is great, thanks.
     
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  6. annalyseme

    annalyseme Active Member

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    I was in the exact situation years back.
    The girl was always flirting with me and your story reminds me of my episode in the nightclub too.
    Nothing ever happened in the night club. But after some time we made out at a friend's place.
    She drank on that night but i know she was sober! we just never talked about it. But knew there was that strange connection.

    Years later, i've met her after she flied back home. And we as grown up kids "adults" discussed about that episode.
    She admitted that she had some feelings for me.
    While I thought i was being crazy :)

    so.. i might be giving you some hope. But as you said she wouldn't dance with you like that if there was nothing!
    Try to make her jealous haha :) just sayin!
     
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  7. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    Regardless of whether she's confused or in denial, your emotions are at stake. The point is..it doesn't matter! Until she lets go of the notion that "girls don't do it for you," she's going to continue to play hot and cold with you. You deserve better than to be someone's experiment, toy, or plaything when she's in the mood for attention. Your best bet is to let her figure out things, but don't wait for her. Otherwise, you're bound to set yourself up for an emotional roller coaster of trying to guess which mood she's in next. You deserve better and if you're longtime friends, she'll respect that.
     
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  8. jr7799

    jr7799 Member

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    Personally I think she wants to be into you but she just isnt brave enough to actually say it. If someone doesnt want you to touch them or dance with them in that way then they would just flat out tell you no. I would try and see where it goes. It cant hurt to just try.
     
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