Confused by a straight girl

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Heartonmysleeve, Aug 23, 2016.

  1. Heartonmysleeve

    Heartonmysleeve New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2016
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    So I met a girl over a month ago now, she basically see's herself as a straight girl. (Well at least never mentioned otherwise)
    So we get on really well considering we haven't known each other for that long. However I'm just a little confused by her actions and I guess I can feel myself falling for her which I really don't want to do if it's just friendship she is after.

    The points that stand out for me which comes across maybe more than friendship is:
    We text all day everyday, before sleep and in the morning.
    She always seems to want to know what I'm up to and who I'm with.
    We have had big long chats about being gay and how easy/difficult it is to find people to date.
    She has explained why she thinks people end up choosing to be gay - because women are similar and on the same level etc. (how annoying guys are)
    We spend hours chatting on the phone.
    She keeps bringing me little gifts when she see's me.
    I went on a date a few weeks ago and she asked if anything happened between us, if I would be seeing her again and if I have been intimate with anyone in a while.
    When I told her I had a fairly good gaydar she seemed a little taken back and asked how would I be able to tell? What sort of things give it away?

    I guess it could all be things I'm reading too much into, it could just be a really close friendship and she could just be really interested in my life and an inquisitive person.

    I feel like I'm driving myself crazy though trying to work it out and thought maybe someone else could offer some advice or thoughts on the situation?
     
    #1
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2013
    Messages:
    1,390
    Likes Received:
    1,489
    She sounds curious. That being said, not all women who are curious are actually gay or bi. Just like plenty of lesbians at one time tried sleeping with men. The all day texting thing is definitely intense, but some women have intense non-romantic friendships.

    I think you have to do what is right for you. If you don't want to get into an intense but platonic relationship, you need to set some boundaries. Alternatively, you could ask her if she has ever been curious about dating a girl, if she has ever had a girl crush. You would have your answer yes or no, then go from there.
     
    #2
    TheScandinavian likes this.
  3. Eloise

    Eloise Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2013
    Messages:
    170
    Likes Received:
    168
    Nope. Not gay. Not even interested. Someone who is truly gay or bi wouldn't say that people chose to be gay. She would know that it isn't a choice. I think she's trying to find out if you're gay. Straight women think that all gay women are interested in them. I've talked to many straight women who are afraid that a friendly woman might be gay and hitting on them. It makes them uncomfortable even if they're friendly back. One woman made a new friend at work and they decided to hang out outside of work. When the other woman said, "it's a date," the other woman assumed she must be gay. She wasn't but that is the kind of shit that goes through some women's minds.

    You need to find out more about her feelings about gay women. In other words would she freak out if someone she knows is gay. If you tell her you are she might start to distance herself because everything you do or say will convince her you are hitting on her. Tip toe around this relationship.
     
    #3
  4. terya

    terya Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2016
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    What I always do is just ask how she defines her sexuality, I'm a pretty upfront person, though!

    From what she has said she sounds straight, like who says you choose to be gay? Straight up straight logic
     
    #4
  5. Heartonmysleeve

    Heartonmysleeve New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2016
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sorry I didn't say before, she definitely knows I'm gay. I told her the first time we met.
    Now it just seems to be that we are addicted to each other.
    I go out and meet other people and try to not focus on her but she will be constantly texting me while I'm out.
    I asked her about the gay thing recently and she said she's from a background where she has never came across gay people before and it's all new to her. She seems really intrigued by it all.
    I keep inviting her to group nights out but she would rather just me and her do stuff together.
    I could be reading into it too much but we are even chatting on the phone for hours each day and the only ever time it's felt this intense is with my ex girlfriend...
     
    #5

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice