Coming Out to my family

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by enVschat, Jun 12, 2015.

  1. enVschat

    enVschat New Member

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    I have known I was different since I was still young when I noticed that I did not really care about boys like my friends, and I wanted the attention of my friends more than anything. Around high school I was told by a friend that I was probably not gay but just bi. I tried dating guys and it never worked and I never really liked them or even saw them as the kind of special person who I would want to be with, I then thought that I was just extremely picky. About a year and a half ago my sister set me up on a date with a guy I knew he was nice and we talked had a few things in common even but it did not feel right. That night I even cried myself to sleep because I was afraid because I knew that I liked girls. It was scary because I did not want to be different so I struggled and kept struggling and I was afraid and still am a little that my family would hate me if they knew. I recently came out to my dad who over time (I am so proud of him) has become very progressive to the point where I told him and he accepted me. Now the harder part comes when I have to come out to the other members of my family that are less accepting. Mainly my older sister who has been like my best friend since we were both kids (only a two year difference) I want to tell her but I am worried that she will not speak to me anymore. My mother's side of the family are all Baptist Christians and think that I am just a good girl who gets a 4.0 g.p.a. and does not date because I am to innocent. Can anyone give me some advice on how to handle coming out the rest of my family?
     
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  2. mjaylf

    mjaylf Member

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    Hey :) I'm not really an expert, I came out a few days ago. So, my family is pretty conservative. I had the same reaction with my dad and I was really scared about talking to my 2 older sisters because I heard them before talking about how disgusting it was to think about being with a girl. When I sat them at the table I probably looked very nervous and one of them said: We are prepared for EVERYTHING. I told them. One said: Is that it? The other said: So what? I told you we were prepared for EVERYTHING. Funny thing is... they knew a long time ago. Before I even knew it. It blew my mind away. Chances are your sister already knows. But if your sister doesn't know by now, she's going to accept you, don't be afraid. I told them not because I had to, I told them because I wanted them to know who I really am. The rest of the family, I didn't say anything or am I going to. My cousin came out a few months ago and he went out to dinner with each aunt/uncle. We have an aunt that belongs to Opus Dei, so you can guess how conservative they are. They told him they accepted him, but not his boyfriend. My aunt and uncle didn't show up for Easter because they were going to be there. Everyone was outraged by their attitude and couldn't care less if they weren't there, they were the ones who spent that day alone, not my cousin. I know they're going to find out soon or later about me but I really don't think it's their business. I'm going to give you the same advice my dad gave me. It's not a tragedy nor a motive for a big celebration, it is what it is, so just tell the people it make sense to YOU and leave the others alone, the same way you would if you were straight... You're not really gathering people to tell them how much you love boys lol. Good luck to you and I hoped this helped in any way.
     
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  3. enVschat

    enVschat New Member

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    Th
    thanks, for the advice.
     
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