Coming out to friends after being best friend...

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by Jooo, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. Jooo

    Jooo Member

    Aug 26, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Hey guys!
    You know, I was thinking for years now how to come out to family and friends; what was the best way to come out and how I could play it cool as to show them that I was confident about who I was...I was creating all these hypothetical scenarios on my mind as if I was to write a script and the protagonist was myself...after revisiting each scenario carefully I concluded that I would come out as soon as I would find a nice match for myself...I was happy with my decision because I was buying time to avoid the big drama in my life...The past few years I was "feeling" happy in my closet...I had my friends around, I was having a good time in uni and I was avoiding any frictions between myself and society in general...sometimes is just easy to sit in a corner silent...however, finally, last week I had my first date and everything went well...I was feeling happy for the first time in my life and I wanted to share this happiness with my friends...when, actually, I remembered that I wasn't out and therefore I had to come out first before sharing my happiness with them...and here we come to the hardest part of everything...I know that in my head I had this plan of coming out when I would have found someone but now that I have doesn't make this any easier...actually it makes them even more difficult..!

    I know my friends for four years now and for all this time I was pretending being the low-profile straight girl who had minor crushes in guys, only to have something to talk about during girls' nights...yesterday I came out to one of my best friends and she was shocked because she thought she knew me these four years when in reality she knew just one side of me...that's when I realised that my plan was stupid all along but it was too late to change things...The coming weekend I will have my second date with this girl and I have to come out before that to the rest of my very close friends....however, I don't know how to do it...I don't want them to be shocked -but it's inevitable for them not to be...I need to find the courage but somehow I can't...I wish I had told them sooner but the past doesn't change...

    Any thoughts? Anyone having gone through similar situations? Any encouragement? Anything is well welcomed!
    Thanks for reading and sorry for any mistakes...english is not my first language..:)
  2. cassielynn

    cassielynn Member

    Jan 27, 2014
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    Re: Coming out to friends after being best fr...

    You are right. Shock is basically inevitable a lot of the time. It's hard to come out to your best friends, especially when you've kept a side of yourself hidden all this time. Maybe get them all together with the friend you've already told to help ease the blow... and basically just tell them you've met someone that you're going on another date with and that that someone is a girl. Explain you weren't trying to lie to them, but that you just weren't ready to come out yet. My friends when I came out to them were mad because they couldn't understand why I would even think for a second that I couldn't come to them and they felt bad that I had to keep such a huge part of myself a secret. So be prepared for that possible reaction too.
    Also word of advice.... I think a lot of times when you come out you need to just spit out the words, get it done fast like ripping off a band aid. lol Sometimes hemming and hawwing and starting it off with melodrama will make them worried and a bigger deal than it should be.

    Good luck with everything :)

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