Coming back for more.

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Lunatuna, Jun 6, 2019.

  1. Lunatuna

    Lunatuna Member

    Mar 9, 2019
    Likes Received:
    I am returning....
    I am lost and confused.

    I had posted a while back about a girl who I began talking to and later found out she had a BF. While there is plenty of backstory, I will keep it as simple as possible.

    She was transferred out. This was the best thing that could have happened because the distance and lack of contact made it easy for me to ignore her. We'd text but it was never anything too concrete.

    Well, last month they freaking BRING HER BACK.

    She's back at my branch and for a while we were civil. Then a couple weeks ago she begins to drop hints that she is having problems with BF but doesnt exactly give details (which I don't blame)
    But her interactions were weird. One minute she was all over me and the next she was in tears about the ending of her relationship. I did not take advantage of any advances with her (we hung out a few times) because for one, i know shes hurting. I can tell and breaking up isnt easy. Secondly, I am not going to have a FWB thing because ultimately if she can save her relationship because it is what makes her happy, she should. Us sleeping together will probably salvage any chances of that and I do not want to be some sort of pitty *uck.
    I cant help but think she is attempting to take advantage of my previous feelings for her to better herself. I feel like an idiot for not taking advantage of this opportunity at times, but I am not that type of person and Ive been in her position. I am not going to take advantage of her vulnerability.

    I am just growing with resentment and I know if this continues I will not be able to be her friend. I want to be selfish and flat out tell her that I cannot be the friend she needs me to be. The feelings are there and I will end up hurt. Now Im even more upset at the fact that I am considering changing locations just to remove myself from this situation. I do not see us simply 'not talking'. We've tried and obviously, theres chemistry but not enough for her to have done something about it before. She had told me her relationship sucked and if she could, she would get out. Now its here and I am not sure what she will do. I am tired of being pulled back into her and I hate the fact that i will transfer branches because of HER. I have a perfectly good schedule and a boss that has supported me through school. But at this point I am exhausted and do not have time to clean up her mess and keep straight A's.

    Should I move? Stick it out? Tell her to fuck off and leave me alone? Or attempt to be the friend she needs?
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Tell her to fuck off and leave you alone. (but in a nicer way) You could gradually distance yourself, like not answering her texts for a while and be like this really busy and unavailable person. If she is trying to talk to you just tell her you don't have the brain cells for this because, frankly, it hurts.

    Get your straight A's and only work some place else if you really like that other place. She does not deserve this consideration from you.

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