bummed out about babies

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by R147, Apr 26, 2014.

  1. R147

    R147 Member

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    hey everyone,
    so i don't expect any advice, i guess i just need to vent a little. so my friend just had a baby and i'm sooo happy for her but i've been bummed out about the fact that i'll never be able to have kids that are biologically related to both me and the person i love. i'm only 21 so i'm in no rush to have kids, but i really really want them in the future. i know there are other options and i deff want to adopt because there are too many abandoned kids without families out there. but seeing my friends baby and knowing that she was able to conceive a child with the person she loves, is just, so beautiful and magical and not to sound completely lame, but i guess i'm just jealous.

    the past few years i've been dealing with the realization that i'm super gay and that my life will always be judged, and i've worried about what friends will think and what family will think, and finding love and all that, and like i said, i've always wanted to adopt kids at some point, but now with my friends baby, i realize that everything i've been worried about will not be such a huge deal over time, but now i'm just upset that i'll never be able to have that intensely spiritual experience of creating another human being with someone i love, and that will never change no matter how hard i dream that it will.

    thanks for listening and sorry about the run-ons.
    can anyone relate?
     
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  2. TADinUS

    TADinUS Well-Known Member

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    I think the closest you may be able to get is; both you and your future wife use donated sperm/etc. Adopt each others children.

    My wife was depressed when she broke up with her girlfriend... who had a baby. She help raise this kid for the first 5 years of his life. After the break up, no contact allowed... no "happy birthday", calls to see how is he doing, etc.

    I never thought of how it may effect women. As we see, many adopt, use donation (Pro or friend), or from a previous relationship.

    If you adopt, you'll still love that child. If you give birth to your own, the love will still be great. You're quite young and have many years to work out what works for you.

    PS: venting is healthy... usually.
     
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  3. R147

    R147 Member

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    wow..ur wife's situation was really terrible. I guess your right..you can love a child just as much if its not ur own blood. as much as i would enjoy having a child with dna from both myself and the woman i love, it won't matter having one who is not biologically related once they're born and we view as family anyway.


    thanks for the reply. it helped.
     
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