Broken Hearted

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by egrah, May 15, 2016.

  1. egrah

    egrah New Member

    Apr 19, 2016
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    Last edited: May 17, 2016
  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    Yes, there are real lesbians out there. Yes, there are women who will never leave you for me. No, there is nothing wrong with you. She is a screwed up person if she cheated on you a lot and strung you along. Don't believe it when someone says you are the only girl they would ever love, that is a bs line.

    I am sorry that she treated you so poorly. Give yourself time to grieve. The grief won't last forever. Hang in there.
    Spygirl likes this.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    I agree with @Bluenote none of this is your fault. When cheating happens it's human nature to assume that you are to blame and the cause of the cheating. When in reality, she cheated on you because SHE wanted to, because SHE chose to.

    Look after yourself, let yourself heal properly and further down the line things will be so much better.
    Bluenote and Spygirl like this.
  4. Gyldenragg

    Gyldenragg Well-Known Member

    Jul 6, 2013
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    Don't blame yourself for her mistakes and bullshit attitude. She clearly didn't respect you enough if she cheated on you, and that says more about what kind of person she is than anything you've done 'wrong' (it's not your blame to take). I know it's painful and hard but you have to let it and her go. You're so much better off without that kind of influence on your life - and eventually you will allow yourself not only the chance to heal without her constantly bringing you down and making you question yourself etc, but it will also make possible the opportunity to meet someone who truly loves and respects you and whom you might be able to build something meaningful with.

    For now, try focusing on yourself. I suspect with this situation you've been so focused on her that you've forgotten about yourself. So do the things that will make you happy. Fill your time with meaningful, fun and challenging things you like to do and slowly, but surely you will get over this.
    Spygirl likes this.
  5. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    The sad part of reality is that you can't make someone love you. You could do everything 100% correctly and still have your girlfriend cheat on you because some people just don't adhere to the same values and standards as others. Integrity is a trait that not all people possess.

    It seems to me that she was telling you just enough to keep you holding on -- while at the same time, she was doing whatever she wanted without regard to your feelings. Honey, that's not love at all. You were convenient for her and gave her something she needed, but that's definitely not love.

    And yes, I've been there....I'm sure some others on this board have been there too. We've been used, left feeling confused because we've given our hearts and souls to someone expecting that she'd give us the same in return -- only to find that we've not been given the same dignity and respect.

    Consider yourself lucky that you found out this way -- because she is not the type of person you want in your life. She's done you a favor by allowing you to move on and find someone who shares the same morals and values as you do. Don't give up hope. There are good people out there.
    Estra and Nancy like this.
  6. Lauren_1989

    Lauren_1989 Active Member

    Apr 15, 2015
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    It's normal to blame yourself when things like this happen, especially when you love that person. You think it's something that you've done, it must be something that's wrong with you, but no. You're feeling awful right now, but given some time, you'll realise that there are people out there that won't hurt you. You're not the only loyal person out there. Venting is good, get it all off your chest and then you can move forward.
    Spygirl likes this.
  7. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

    Jan 15, 2016
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    What does this "real lesbians" even mean? I think you should search for PEOPLE and not pseudo people. Search for people (I know that you're probably a lesbian but I'm generalizing) who're gonna be faithful. Feelings change, one cannot expect to be loved till their very last breath, you know. What one should do in such situation is to be honest-yes, it'd hurt a lot but still not as much as it did/does after knowing she cheated. Also-it shouldn't matter who she cheated on you with, the important aspect is that she cheated and therefore cannot be trusted with you heart :)

    Just to clarify-was it a long distance relationship? If it was, it still wouldn't be an excuse but I'm just wondering...

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