breakup

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by MJShawty, Mar 11, 2020.

  1. MJShawty

    MJShawty New Member

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    Hi,

    So long story short, she moved to another city for 2 months, at the beginning I was very jealous and kind of selfish, I didn´t want her to go...
    After a couple a weeks I understood that this is for her well being and I calmed down.
    But, for her birthday, she was so far from me and I always have this stupid tradition to congratulate first, to everyone, friends, relatives etc. so I wanted to do that for her too, but she was out with the people he works with, and didn´t pick up her phone so I lost it and started overthinking. The next day she broke up with me, telling me she doesn´t loves me anymore.
    Fast forward 2 and half weeks I visited her, we kissed and got a hotel room to be alone, she hugged me, kissed me and I needed to leave.
    The moment I left she changed her behavior, she became cold again and told me she does not love me anymore, she told me that she was hugging me and kissing me because she was insecure..
    I am confused.. I was messaging her everyday, but I stopped 4 days ago, she is coming back this Sunday and I do really want her back, I know I overreacted and I admitted my mistake and apologized 100 times.
    I need to mention this is the first time in 3 years that we are apart for so long, I don´t know if this is important but..
    I just don´t know what to do..

    PS. Sorry about my English it is not my first language.
     
    #1
  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    I am so very sorry. When she said clearly she did not want or love you anymore, then that is what you should hear no matter how much it hurts. People will do all sorts of things after a breakup because the left-overness of the relationship. It is like you still feel a touch long after it is gone. You had a relationship that was important to both of you and sadly now it is a breakup.

    I would suggest distance and healing for you both. Be nice to yourself and do everything you can do distract yourself and move on. I am so sorry. *big hugs*
     
    #2
    Spygirl likes this.
  3. Writer23

    Writer23 Well-Known Member

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    You wrote, “I lost it”. It is very clear that that is not the first time that “you lost it”. It sounds as if you are extremely insecure and she is exhaustively struggling with it. She loves you because she is still there, but she is tired. In time, your apologies will get old and she will realize that your relationship will never be anything other than what it is right now and walk. She cannot make you secure, only you can do that. Try therapy. If she loves you and is truly beautiful to you, do whatever it takes to free yourself from your insecurity.
     
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    Spygirl likes this.
  4. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

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    She said she doesn't love you anymore. You have to take that at face value. She broke up with you and unless she tells you she wants you back, you need to stop trying. If apologizing didn't work the first time, then apologizing 100 times more isn't going to change the fact that she doesn't want to be in this relationship.

    Insecurity is normal; extreme insecurity can push someone away and destroy a relationship. Give her her space and don't push the issue. If she wants you back, let her arrive at that decision on her own.
     
    #4
  5. Matt

    Matt Member

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    First off.. stop apologizing..
    Second.. let her come to you

    Dont call her, don't text her.. in fact my advise would be to delete her texts.. or save them off your phone.

    Women are like cats.. every try to smother one.. thet jump out of your arms.
     
    #5

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