Bicurious to Bisexual?, Attraction to Masculine of Center Women, a Few Questions

Discussion in 'Advice (Dear AE...)' started by lilacblush, May 21, 2020.

  1. lilacblush

    lilacblush New Member

    May 21, 2020
    Likes Received:
    Hello All,

    I have some questions I'm hoping some of you folks would be able to help me with. I'm sure there have been lots of women of the years with very similar questions they've posted online, and I know there are probably lots of posts out there addressing these topics, but as you know the internet can become sort of a rabbit hole when seeking answers so I'm going straight to the source: all you fine lesbians/bisexuals/queer people.

    OK here we go:

    I'm a cisgender women in my mid-thirties. I've always identified as straight and later also bicurious, as I started noticing an attraction to women in my early twenties (anyone else remember Dani Campbell when she was on Shot at Love with Tila Taquila?). These feelings weren't anything I explored mentally at length until my late twenties when I recognized that I do indeed have an intense attraction to masculine-of-center women. So that was mostly just a sense of awareness; I didn't have a desire to try to find a woman to explore that attraction with.

    That has changed now! I would very much like to find women to explore these attractions with.

    So these are my questions:

    How are bicurious/formerly mainly hetero-identifying women typically viewed by lesbians? It's been my impression (from my online info seeking) that they are sometimes (or even often) snubbed when trying to set up encounters with women in queer settings (for example a gay bar). But I also imagine there are a least a few ladies that would love to go to town on a newbie (should it be mentioned I generally prefer the role of sub?)

    Is it pretty common for a woman to be solely attracted to masculine-of-center women (or vice versa)? Are there a lot of lesbians that would somehow take offense to my seeking out that type of woman specifically? Like "oh sorry I'm only into tomboys/butches!" This feels like a dumb question and I probably shouldn't really care anyway, but I am curious.

    Also I would love any resources such as articles and blogs if anyone has anything in mind that would be helpful in exploring my identity and desires going forward.

    Thank you so much, please don't judge me too harshly!

    - C

    ETA: I'm just realizing that I made it sound like I solely desire a woman for sex, which is not the case. My preference (with a man or a potential woman) is to have some sort of emotional connection, even for casual sex. And I would love to potentially make lasting friendships whether or not I'm physical with a particular person.
    Last edited: May 21, 2020

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