best friend dilemma, advice please

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by jr7799, Oct 3, 2013.

  1. jr7799

    jr7799 Member

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    I'm going to try to make this short and sweet. I have had this best friend for about 3 years now. I will call her S. We hang out about every other week. We go out to the bars and go dancing and drink or chill at her house etc. She has always known I'm into girls.she doesn't mind. If anything she helps me out. Like being my wingwoman. We are just friends nothing sexual and we have always said that it would never be like that. Until recently. I swear one day I was hanging out with her and it seems out of nowhere I started wanting her for more than just friends. And I can't tell what she thinks. She says she's not into girls but she definetely will say if a girl is hot. That's normal. Sometimes we stand closer than what I think is necessary for friends. Sometimes when we are out at the bar she will face me and dance up on me, which is hot, even though I told her I usually don't dance with her like that cuz I don't want to offend her. But we do our fair share of being up on each other while dancing. Sometimes I feel like she is really "looking" at me. And her other best friend who has known her way longer told me that she thinks S could be into girls with the right person. She just recently walked around without a shirt on at her house after a shower when I come over. But she doesn't actually flirt with me as if she is leading me on. And then we have playfully argued who would be the girlier one if we were in a relationship. You know how things just "feel" different with people sometimes? Thats how it feels to me.But this Saturday things got out of control. We were at my house with some other people drinking and playing games. Somehow we ended up basically playing spin the bottle. When we had to kiss she would grab my head and hold it there. I didn't do any of that. I wanted to though. The more you landed on someone the more you had to do with them to an extent. So i had to lick her nipples. She said she would do the same to me but we never had to do that. But i did have to finger her. Well we didnt think that was a good idea to really do in front of everyone. So we decided to fake it so i put my hand under her panties. Which i was a bit nervous cuz i havent really did any of that with a girl. And she said she hadnt either which i already knew. But the whole time she never said she didnt want to or refuse. I know its probably a really bad idea to want her but idk if i should do and say nothing about it or do something more obvious about it and kind of really put it out there. And i cant tell how she feels or thinks about me. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks
     
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  2. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

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    Just ask her out, just the two of you. Tell her you owe her a dinner and a movie for all that have transpired. I think even if she ends up saying "no", it is okay for you to have tried. Just tell her what you think of her and how she makes you feel.
     
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  3. Evili

    Evili Member

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    Let me tell you something about straight girls, they are the most complicated species in this world. They can go as far as sleeping with you and yet, not be interested in you 'that way'. If you weren't friends with S for three years, I would tell you to catch a plane and move away for a long, long time.

    But, don't despair, I don't mean to sound disparaging. I believe you have a great situation here, since she knows you are gay and she's fantastic about it. This means that if you tell her how you feel and she doesn't reciprocate those feelings, the only damage it would do would be to your heart (which you should be 100% prepared for). And there will be some awkwardeness for a while, but it will not last for long. Strong friendships like yours always survive the hard times.

    However, if she feels the same way, then you go girl! :D I agree with Greylin and think that a confession is the best way through, before your feelings turn into something deeper.

    Cheers! We're rooting for you. :)
     
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  4. Pi3

    Pi3 Well-Known Member

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    agree with jr7799 about straight girls. I have one best friend who acts like she is my girlfriend, and everyone thinks that we are going out. She is touchy, possession, and everything :T. A while back, I thought she was interested in me and because I had feeling for her, so I asked her out. Just say, she is straight and she knows it for sure. People say that she is confuse about her sexuality, but I know otherwise because I get to know her better after I had the talk.

    anyhow, I hope it would work for you :D.
     
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  5. Brandy Alexander

    Brandy Alexander Well-Known Member

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    After reading your post, I'm going to assume you and your best friend are very young. I don't consider myself a prude or ultra conservative, however, I find the progressive game of spin the bottle you and your friends engaged in extremely inappropriate and that's putting it mildly. Any and all intimacy between two people shouldn't involve alcohol and peer pressure as the sole catalyst. Also, engaging in any form of intimacy beyond kissing should take part in private. It's more a matter of respect for oneself and your partner's self respect than anything else.

    At this juncture, I'm really not sure if asking your best friend on a date is even a reasonable prospect. I know straight girls walk around in the nude in front of their girlfriends all the time without second thoughts. I don't think being topless or the sexual acts associate with the progressive game of spin the bottle are any kind of true possible relationship potential indicators. Also, when another person says, They believe so and so might be gay for the right person that statement is nothing more than hearsay. Hearsay is nothing more than rumors. Rumors are usually untrue or jaded to the individuals beliefs that's spreading them. I believe a specific private conservation between you and your best friend needs to take place. You definitely have a few subjects to figure out through your words! No alcohol and no games!

    This, of course, is my opinion and I will probably land in the minority, however, I've made my own set of mistakes within the dating pool. I've grown and mature over the years and I'm just offering some "lessons learned" from my prospective. Good Luck.
     
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