Best friend asks me if i would have sex with ...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by GreenBeen, Jun 18, 2014.

  1. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    My best friend has been confusing me lately.

    Im a lesbian and she is straight, and has a boyfriend. Although, she isn't really too serious about him. weve been friends since we were in grade school and we are now in our mid 20s.

    When i was 15 and realized i was a lesbian, she was the first girl i liked. I told her how i felt, and we continued being friends. Although, we grew apart for a few years, we've became close for the last few years and we see each other frequently.

    We've spoken about the past and we laugh about it. I date girls and i know she is straight. However, we have a very close connection and this past year she has done a few things that have confused me.

    Everytime she drinks, she flirts with me. In the winter, she tried to hold my hand and once she realized ehat she was doing, she suddenly stopped. A few months after that, we were dancing together at a club and as we left the dancefloor to join our other friends, she took my hand and we held it for a long time.
    We just never talked about it.

    Just a few weeks ago we were at a party. She had a lot to drink but she wasnt over the hill drunk. Suddenly we were talking about sex, and she asked me if i would have sex with her. I answered honestly and said yes. Later that evening, very late after the party as i was driving her home, she asked me again if i would sleep with her. I answered yes. She then Asked me if i found her attractive, and i said yes. The alcohol had worn off at the end of the night so i dont think she was drunk.

    The following days shes been calling to hang out a lot and weve been spending a lot of time together. And its as if there has been a sudden switch where now there is some kind of sexual tension between us. I cant explain it, but its like she looks at me with a knowing smile at times, lots of eye contact.

    And yet, we did not talk about the other night but as we were talking about sex yesterday, she mentioned how she would not want to do anything sexually with a girl and has no desire for women.

    She confuses me.
     
    #1
  2. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Re: Best friend asks me if i would have sex w...

    Mmm... that does sound very confusing indeed. She could be in denial about her sexuality or perhaps wants to experiment. The question really is if you would want to be more than friends. You could call her up on it and say about why you're wondering why she asked you whether you two could have sex and stuff, albeit in a rather casual way rather than something that could scare her off. If she does say that she is interested in trying out what it would like to be with a girl, the question then is do you want to be that girl? Or do you just want to remain friends?
     
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  3. GreenBeen

    GreenBeen Well-Known Member

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    Re: Best friend asks me if i would have sex w...

    Thanks for the advice. Heres an update: So one night we were all hanging out and she was with her boyfriend. But she kept being all over him and acting differently around me when he was there so i got uncomfortable and left. I dont know what it was, i was feeling some jealousy but it was something else, so i left.

    A few days after that, she asked me why i seemed upset. told her that i didnt understand why she asked me those questions how if i wanted to sleep with me if she had no intentions of doing so, and how its not fair that shes teasing me. She apologized and said she was just trying to boost her ego and that she had no intention of doing anything. So everything was clear and we continued hanging out as usual.

    But i realized as time went on that i was in love with her.

    She understands me, we have the same sense of humor, we can spend hours and hours together and talk about anything and everything. I had this on my chest, and somehow i wanted to let her know.

    Just recently her boyfriend broke up with her. I have no intention that anything would happen between us. But we were talking last night and i told her how i felt. That i realized that she would be the perfect girlfriend for me. What i feel for her is not so much a sexual thing but more emotional. She told me that it was really nice for me to say that, that she isnt uncomfortable but that she likes men, that a huge oart why it wouldnt work is because i domt have a penis. We joke about it, and nothing has changed between us, but somehow i feel hurt over this. What bothers me is that she tells me about how excited to meet guys.

    Theres nothing else to be done but im happy i told her how i feel. Im just a bit confused and hurt. I knew nothing would happen but it still hurts. What bothers me is that she doesnt seem to take this seriously, in a sense that its some kind of big joke to her and she talks about guys in front of me. I dont say anything but it bothers me on the inside. Im not going to bring it up again but i figured perhaps spending less time with her will help.
     
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  4. sundancer

    sundancer Well-Known Member

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    Re: Best friend asks me if i would have sex w...

    Congratulations for having the guts to tell your best friend about how you feel. I agree with spending a little bit less time with her without actually ignoring her. Perhaps in some way, she is trying to reassure you that nothing is going to happen between you two and she is trying to reinforce it since you called out on her asking if she would sleep with you thing.
     
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