Before I take any further steps...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by sogal, Apr 4, 2015.

  1. sogal

    sogal New Member

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    So, I am going to make this pretty brief...I was wondering if it is normal for lesbians to open up to someone the second time they meet a person. Now this is not a date and nor was the first time, but I had a girl that I was kinda checking out and a business meeting turned into her opening up about her past relationships and family issues and just a lot of stuff. I didn't mind it at all and it actually made me more attracted to her for being so vulnerable. So, I am wondering because I was interested in her before this second meeting happened anyway. Now, that she has opened up, was that just the emotional lesbian in her or was she actually trying to connect with me on another level?? Any general advice...thanks!!
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Seems like a redflag to me. Its not so great to be gf / therapist. I would steer clear of someone who opened up so quickly, particularly in a business setting. Not good boundaries.
     
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  3. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    Eh. There is no "normal" for lesbians, and queermos have lots of different habits and behaviors (just like straight people). Some lesbians process too much. Some never let go of their exes. Some u-haul it. Just because these things are common enough to be jokes doesn't make them okay, even if the person doing it happens to be a lady-loving lady.

    I agree with Bluenote - and add that using issues and history and trauma to create closeness, and opening up without actually having any other basis for intimacy, is a red flag. I'd tread carefully.
     
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  4. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    You are the only one who can answer if she was looking to get closer to you, it depends on how the conversation went.

    What I find a interesting is that it was a business meeting, to me that is what makes it a little weird. Again, only you can tell how the conversation stated and how you ended up sharing personal stories.

    Whether it was to early for sharing I don't thing there is a norm for that. I found people I connect with immediately like we've known each other since forever.
     
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  5. Ooohwhatprettystars

    Ooohwhatprettystars Well-Known Member

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    I have to agree that I find it a bit off that she did this during a business meeting. Had it been a casual hangout maybe it wouldn't be as weird. As far as "normal", there is no such thing. Each person is different and makes connections to other people in different ways. I have found people that I immediately have a connection with and feel like we understand each other, yet there are others that it takes me longer periods of time and its harder to open up to them for whatever reason.
     
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