Baby Steps, right?

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by TiffyD, Feb 15, 2015.

  1. TiffyD

    TiffyD New Member

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    So here I am, 26 years old, for the first time outside of the confines of my mind I admitting that I am a lesbian.

    I'm not sure why I should find a simple declaration of a part of my identity so difficult, but here it is. I've spent so long avoiding it, and pretending it wasn't there in hopes that it would go away, but it doesn't. It's always there. A constant nagging voice saying, "You can't lie to yourself forever," and "Oh, she's so hot. You know you want her."

    I used to think I could pretend to be straight. Fake it until you make it, right? It's funny that it should take a guy to make me realize that's not how the world works. So thank you Mr. Jones for making me confront who I am, and deal with it. I'm by no means ready to come out of my cozy little closet, but it's starting to get smaller, and I think soon it won't feel like home anymore.

    Forgive my somewhat mental drabble. Writing is cathartic, and I really need to get things off my chest.
     
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  2. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations!!

    You did great. It's not easy to start accepting that you are gay. For most people, it is a series of little steps.

    Likewise, coming out is usually a series of little steps. You took a few big ones in the past couple of days - joining EA, calling yourself a lesbian and telling us where you are at with coming out.

    Writing is cathartic. Coming out can be hard, because of all of the fear and uncertainty around being gay. I don't know what your situation is, but I do know that things are a lot better for gay people today. It's not always easy, but people can find ways to be out and safe.

    Welcome to AE?
     
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  3. Jemstone

    Jemstone Active Member

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    I'm kind of in the same boat as you. Kind of out of the closet, but I've been able to come clean with a few close friend who I knew I could trust. I also had a series of "maybe I'm just bi? I can just choose guys, yeah, then nobody will know!" Even that just wasn't cutting it, because I realized that I was never attracted to guys in the sense that I could ever sleep with a male. Females, they were something 100% different. While in the back of my mind I thought of them, as I got older those thoughts got louder and louder until I really came to terms with my real self.

    Anyway, enough of my ramblings! Haha, sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. Just trying to say that you're definitely not alone with being somewhat in and somewhat out, but also a congratulations for accepting yourself.

    Anyway (again), welcome to AE! I'm somewhat knew here too and I can honestly say the people here are so helpful! They share some great advice, so don't be afraid to ask questions if you have them!
     
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  4. TiffyD

    TiffyD New Member

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    Thank you both, it's nice to know that someone understands and appreciates my efforts!
     
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    Bluenote likes this.
  5. CherryBerry

    CherryBerry Member

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    Hey! Congratulations on taking the first few tentative steps!

    Take it from someone who got married to a man and had a child before taking the first step to accepting the truth........ you cant run away from yourself.
     
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  6. yytbyebyet

    yytbyebyet New Member

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    You took a few big ones in the past couple of days - joining EA, calling yourself a lesbian and telling us where you are at with coming out.
     
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  7. _mirage_

    _mirage_ Well-Known Member

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    First of all, congratulations! You've taken big steps that are only for the better.

    I think many of us members of the LGBTQA suffer from a period of suppression and avoidance of recognition regarding our sexuality (not all, but definitely, it is not uncommon). It's hard not to in a society that is hetero-centric and has not 100% accepted alternative sexualities as either existing, genuine, or natural. There is always a weight to bear when you are part of a minority group, no matter the kind--a sad, but real and observable truth. Finding, accepting, and owning a label for your identity is absolutely frightening; as I'm sure you've noticed, 'coming out' mentally or publicly is no cake walk. The most important thing, and first step to happiness, I'd argue, is to be comfortable with yourself and you're certainly making strides in that direction.

    Don't be embarrassed of your age. There is no timeline for this sort of thing. Everyone works at their own pace because they have different personal obstacles to conquer. Take your time and don't let anyone pressure you into revealing anything or acting on feelings that maybe you are comfortable sharing with family, friends, or the public yet. The most important thing is you.

    I'm sure you know it, but I'll say it. You have a supportive community here on AE and all of us are here if you need an ear. We're a diverse community of all different ages, nationalities, lifestyles--blah, blah, blah...so, we all have different experiences and we're good blocks to draw strength from if you ever need it.

    I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY! Try not to stress or freak out, hun. Have a cup of tea and a cookie. :)
     
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    Wild Orchid likes this.
  8. pikatan2

    pikatan2 Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations on everything :D baby steps like you said :D

    you're not alone at least you realise it in your mid 20's not in like your late 60 not that there's anything wrong to realise it that late.. but I'm glad you're accept it now and like.. YAY lesbian <3

    I hope for the best for you! :D

    xx
     
    #8

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