Awesome or a disaster?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Centurion, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    First off, I hope I'm posting this in the right place.
    Okay, so there is this super adorable girl I work with and I've found myself attracted. I can't tell how she feels or how she identifies. It seems like she could be bi and maybe interested, but I have received mixed signals which just confuse me. However, she has invited me to spend the night at her house (she lives alone) on Tuesday after work. I have no idea really what prompted this, but I'm extremely nervous. Either this could be totally awesome and she will make a move on me, or it will turn out a disaster if she finds out I'm attracted to her while I'm staying over and she happens to not feel the same way. So, since I'm freaking out, what should I do!?
     
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  2. Don't over think it! Maybe she likes you, but you're not sure, so why rush to make a move? Take your time, get to know her more, and see if at least she supports homosexuality. If she makes a move while you're over at her house, that's awesome! But go in as a friend, and see where the night takes you! And the times you hang out after that!

    Good luck!
     
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  3. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    I know for a fact she is super okay with and supportive of homosexuality. We had a conversation about it which actually led to her saying things which confused me and probably wouldn't really make sense out of context. It made me think she was at least bi though. There is also the fact that she is uncannily "psychic" when it comes to reading me. Somehow it's like...she just knows me! She also keeps randomly complimenting me, the most unusual one being to comment on a particular aspect of my personality as being "adorable." Does constant eye contact and smiling mean anything? Especially when not really accompanied by any words? Sometimes I think she is just looking at me, and I only notice when I turn to stare at her (not in a creep way), and then our eyes lock for a few intense moments before one of us turns away. Maybe I'm just reading too far into things, but my anticipation of Tuesday night is a bit nerve-wracking!
     
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  4. Brandy Alexander

    Brandy Alexander Well-Known Member

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    I agree with just relax and go in as friends. Every great relationship starts as a friendship first. You can't build a house without a foundation and you shouldn't build a relationship without the foundation of a friendship. Find and explore the things you have in common. Find and explore the things you don't have in common and weigh the ramifications of the differences. Find out where she stands on the "hot topics" like religion, politics, social issues etc. Find out the fun stuff like favorite food, color, movie, music and raining day activity. Play the deserted island game...i.e. what 3 albums (not mixed tapes) would she bring to a deserted island and why. What would be her luxury item she would bring to a deserted island and why.

    Keep the conversation light and fun. Don't get bogged down in deep philosophical talk. Shake things up and keep the conversation moving along so you can learn about each other. I wouldn't worry about physical contact with her. In fact put it out of the realm of possibilities. This will remove stress and fear. Just relax and be yourself. Make an effort to get to know her and really listen to her answers. Ask pointed questions based on her responses. You showing a genuine interest in her will speak volumes. If she is interested in more than a friendship....she will make the first move because after all she invited you to spend the night.

    Good Luck. Let us know how it goes.
     
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  5. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    After some chatting with her some more, she did reveal that she is heterosexual, but I don't think that's the end of all hope. For now, I'm going to go to stay at her house as planned, but I will take everyone's advice here and just be a friend. However, she does strongly believe that sexuality is fluid and she cares greatly about the lgbtq* community, so maybe there is a little hope there. I suppose if she ever gets curious that would be just fine with me ;)
     
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  6. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    what do you want?

    If you just maybe want to hook up, taking a girl up on her random invite for a sleep over is fine.

    If you want an actual relationship with this girl, it is a bad idea.

    she seems confused. talking about being hetero, then flirting and asking you to sleep over. confused girl shouldn't be driving the bus. one night stand with confused coworker = much drama.

    Let me put it another way, people don't just out of the blue invite people for sleep overs. Both the 'just friend' and the 'gf' type of sleep overs are usually something that people work up to. So something is weird about this situation.

    Out of the blue, she wants a sleep over? If you just want sex with this girl and can still be cool about things at work, go for it. Be safe, have fun, etc... If you want to actually date her / have her as a friend, you need to slow it down. Put the Uhaul in park, turn the sleep over down and just go out and have a 'date' (either friend date or date date). Y'know, dinner, bowling (lol), conversation.
     
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  7. Brandy Alexander

    Brandy Alexander Well-Known Member

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    I appreciate the added information. It gives a whole new meaning to the situation. DO NOT spend the night. Nothing about this girl or situation is right. Sleeping with a "straight" is a huge mistake. It doesn't matter if she supports the LGBT community or thinks sexuality is fluid. Sleeping with a "straight" girl you work with will only led to major issues at work.

    Have you ever heard the term "don't crap where you eat?" It would be one thing if she was gay, but now that you know she isn't stay away. It's fine to be her friend, but don't put yourself in a compromising position. Don't spend the night. Plus, whatever you do...do NOT get drunk and sleep with her. Liquid courage is another mess. You will be labeled the "bad guy" because it will appear as if you took advantage of a drunk girl.

    Build this friendship only. Protect yourself and your reputation by not putting yourself at risk...i.e. no drunken sex and no sleep overs. Developing a friendship is fine...just be smart about it.
     
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  8. Centurion

    Centurion Active Member

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    You ladies are so going to kill me, but I couldn't resist. I'm actually currently at her house, but everything has gone well. Not in a sexy funtime kind of way, but in a normal friend way. We just watched TV shows, Veronica Mars and Orange Is The New Black.. and just chatted. In fact, she's upstairs in bed and I'm downstairs in the guest bedroom. I don't think she's interested in me in any other way aside from being friends. Honestly, it's not even a let down. I'm strangely relieved haha There is, so far, no need to be nervous I don't think.
     
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