At first sight...

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by Jane Doe, Apr 17, 2015.

  1. Jane Doe

    Jane Doe Well-Known Member

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    Hey All.
    I just need your opinion about something. Sorry if this will be lengthy.
    Just a little background....
    I have just broken up with my partner for 5+yrs 6mos ago. To be honest, until now Im still grieving I admit. I learned that she moved on with someone a month back and it gave me a panic attack. I still do, sometimes when I remember her. It's quite difficult. Really.
    This year, I have decided to be single and to heal from the breakup. I want to be whole again. I want to fully recover before I consider going into a relationship if ever. So I avoided having a crush or being interested in someone. I am firm in my decision. I try to make my new friendships with girls superificial. And I have been some kind of withrawn socially. I try not to go out as often as I can. I am around half opposite as I used to be. As a matter of fact, Im a very outgoing person. I have worked in events management for 4yrs before so you would already have an idea of my personality. Im fun to be with and Im funny. Kinda. Parties are not complete without me as they say.
    I can say.. I have changed. Not entirely but if you knew me then, then you would say I have changed.
    So here's the part where I met her. I have to go to a place as I would need to meet someone for an interview. I won in a small competition where they would shoot a video about it.

    As the car slowed down on the way to the venue, With me sitting at the backseat of the car looking out, I saw her sitting outside on like a concrete bench. I have not seen her face because she was facing to her right side talking to someone on her mobile and her hair somehow was covering her face. I did not know why I noticed her. She was wearing normal clothes like jeans and white button up Shirt with hair on shoulder level. So I just brushed it off. Thats nothing. I said to myself. The thing is, 3 seconds after the car passed her, we stopped. And the driver told me that the venue is that place beside where she was sitting. I got out of the car, walked towards the door of the place and I glanced at her. I could not again see her as she is faced opposite my direction but I swear my heart skipped a beat and I don't know why. I have not expected it. Until now I wonder what could have caused it. On that moment I felt a jolt, I quickly told myself. Please don't let her be part of where I'm going. Please...
    So I went in. Introduced myself to everyone. Chatted with the people there while they are preparing for the shoot. An hour passed and I was just there talking to a lot of people. All of them were so nice and Im Enjoying myself and feeling happy to have met new people. I forgot about her already.
    I was deeply engaged in a conversation with one of the staff there in regards to their whole branding, when I heard someone entered the room talked to some staff and she was distributing coffee to them. The smell of the coffee was hmmmm good. But sorry. I already quit coffee 5 yrs ago.
    Then she gave the one I was talking to, a cup and when I saw her I literally almost lost my balance. I swear! I did not even believe that could happen in real life but Now I can say it does. Believe me!

    I saw the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen with a smile that could lift you up like I am about to hit my head on the ceiling. I mean, it is kind of exaggerated.. But really. It's something like that.

    She introduced herself and I found out she is the one who will do the interview. So without showing what just happened to me, I introduced myself and we started chatting a little bit. Along the converstaion, She asked if Im married with kids, nope I said single. I asked her and she said single. Im not sure if she noticed Im into girls as you would not suspect that when you see me the first time although I am a bit boyish.

    The day was over but we will still meet to finalize 3 days later. So I went home and I thought to myself, yeah. She is cute but not now. Not for me. But then I couldn't stop thinking about her. The smile. The eyes. She looked poised and cool, etc.

    3 days later, we again saw each other. Greeted like usual. But me, I feel like I am looking at her. Watching her. Waiting for that smile. She was wearing nothing out of the ordinary. In fact her bag does not match her shoes nor belt. She was wearing a green floral shirt and jeans. Hair not so tidy looking, not a lot of make up. She looked natural.

    So as everyone was preparing, I mentioned to one staff about how her eyes and smile could just light up. And that she so good at what she does. Etc. Then the day went ahead as planned and when it was time to go, she was near me, so I told her thanks for everything and hoping for a good outcome. Etc etc. Right when the staff I told about her interrupted and told her what I just said. She then smiled at me and said 'i like you' with those eyes and smile. And I answered, well we all like you! I just said 'we' because I dont know. I got shy and all.
    Although, I ever do not want to give meaning with what she just said but deep inside I am hoping that it meant more. Oh well. Snap! And Im back to reality.

    Day was over. I had to leave. I looked for her but she was out of sight. Damn! Where is she? I want to see her one last time. I might never see her again. But I never did. So I just left.

    It was exactly 25 days ago. I can't stop thinking about her. I would always remember her eyes and smile at anytime of the day. Its lasting. What the hell is happening??!!! I do not plan on crushing with someone. No way. Not now. But I think of her often.

    So the other day, I checked my emails and found I have her work mobile number. I saved it on my mobile just incase I will not be able to stop myself from texting or calling her. But 3mins from storing her number I sent her a message. Just asking how she was. If she still remembers me. Etc. She replied 2hrs later. Asking how I was. Etc etc. with a smiley. So we messaged back and forth not much. But her answers are like periods on a sentence. Where I feel she is not into it. Then last night I sent her a message again. She replied lunch time Today. Still short and being polite maybe. So I decided I will just text her about how pretty her eyes and her cute smile and whatever. I did. And she did not reply anymore. And that is the end of everything.

    I did not know what the h*** happened. It felt so real. I liked her. If given a chance, I will pursue this feeling. I even drew up answers in my mind if ever she would ask me questions. I was getting ready. But. Yeah. It ended. So. Forget her.

    Lastly, I wrote this post because this is not normal for me. And I am questioning how this happened. It never happened to me before. She is not even my type. All my previous partners were younger than me at most my age. She is my senior maybe 10+ years. Im not sure. I did not ask how old she was. It didnt matter to me. And I wondered why. She is my height. Normally I liked girls who are taller than me about 2-4 inches not more than that.

    I just need your opinion on this. Apologies again for this post to have taken a lot of your time.
     
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  2. Coffee Addict

    Coffee Addict Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jane,
    First of all, take a deep breath and relax. You are putting to much pressure on you about being involved or liking someone. Perhaps your subconscious is telling you that you are ready to like someone. I am not saying to rush into a relationship with the first person to go through the door, but If you find someone and you connect, enjoy it.

    You have gone through a lot and we evolve, our preferences and taste changes. I think that happens also to our attraction to others, so I understand that you feel it is new. Maybe she wasn't your time because you never observed people of her type (if that makes sense). Height, age, bone structure are external features that may catch your eye at the beginning but once you give the chance to people outside your "preferred" parameters you can discover pretty amazing people.

    So I would say that you are just evolving and learning about yourself through this person.

    Wish you luck :)
     
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  3. Bluenote

    Bluenote Well-Known Member

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    What happened is you had a crush. We can't control them or stop them. All we can control is our behavior (choosing to act or not on our crushes).

    I'm more concerned that you are trying to heal from your break up by living like a monk. It's like you are terrified that you may develop feelings for someone again. That's not a good way to live. I think you would be better off to face that fear and let it go.
     
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  4. Jane Doe

    Jane Doe Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Bluenote and Coffee Addict! You're right. I may just be taking this much too seriously. I just had a crush on someone who does not belong in my type bracket and its freaking me out as it feels like im treading in unfamiliar waters.
     
    #4
  5. HoneyDylan

    HoneyDylan Well-Known Member

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    Jane I totally get needing some time to recover from a break up. Been ther, still there most days. I've only recently started to want contact again. Even now sometime I cringe at the thought. However I've had a similar experience. Your post makes me want to post mine too.

    Anyway, what I'd like to share with you is that we never know who we will be attracted to. Even with all of our preferences sometimes that love bug just bites us. Or cupids arrow hits us. I can't explain it but I know it happens. I feel like this is the universe's way of saying yes you are down but you aren't out. One day you will be ready and so will the other person. <3

    Thanks for your story.
     
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