Arrange Marrige...

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by swathimutyam101, Jul 9, 2014.

  1. swathimutyam101

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    I have known I liked girls since I was 5. But I didn't know about varying sexualities till much later in life and always suppressed my feelings. Even after I understood I suppressed knowing that my parents would never accept me and its not culturally ok. I am Indian. I resolved to my fate of getting an arranged marriage but now I now loosing my lifetime of happiness is not worth the few years of pain my parents may endure. I just graduated college and I want to be financially independent before I come out to my parents because I am completely dependent. I don't know what to say or do to postpone their arranged marriage plans. I could use any advice on how to talk to my parents
    Thanks and much love
    -S
     
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    SUHANA likes this.
  2. Anonymus

    Anonymus Well-Known Member

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    Hello Swathi, I know how you feel and completely understand your situation. I been exactly in your situation & I'm Indian too.. whatever you do don't tell your parents about your sexuality until you get a job+wait for another couple of years so that you will be financially more stable. If you don't get a job, go for higher studies but don't ever agree in any circumstances for the marriage nor give your parents or as a matter of fact to no one the right reason. Trust me its going to be one of the most painful things you have go through if you agree, it will damage your own existence and rest of your life you will be spending keeping up charade of family honour, scared of the scandal coming out, kids and don't forget you have to sleep with a guy rest of your life! Right now you are in a much better situation with marriage it will all turn worse!!!! If your parents know about it (assuming they live in India) they never going to let you on your own and will married you off ASAP before it comes out. You have to make a wise decision, play it smartly. Don't even blindly trust your siblings or friends unless you are pretty sure they will stand by your side.. most of them they back down once parent's get angry. If your parents know all that emotional drama, honour, shame etc will enter the picture and you would never know when you got blackmailed emotionally...don't fall for any of that in case you decided to tell them anyway!!!! Its your life, second chances are seldom don't risk it, try your best to protect it.
    I'm assuming now you are in your early 20s delay it at least late 20s then you will matured enough to make a decision by yourself.
     
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