another best friend situation

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by black_pearl, May 18, 2014.

  1. black_pearl

    black_pearl Member

    May 18, 2014
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    hello everyone :)

    the title says most of it, so i'm going to try to keep the post short.

    it's my best friend. we've known each other for a couple of years.
    i'm bi (she knows it), and she claims to be straight (which is funny because she looks a loooot "gayer" than me).
    in the past there were some situations that made me think of her not just as a friend, but i managed to put away those thoughts because i didn't want to lose her - she thinks that people who fall in love with their friends aren't real friends.
    she seems to be comfortable in situations when it looks like we're together.

    we get drunk, and then she gets touchy (which i'm definitely not), leans over into my personal space all the time or just slaps my ass.
    it might be good to note that both of us are pda shy (me - all the time, she - only when sober).
    a couple of months ago we went out where we hugged all the time and then she started to bite my neck. i just froze. later when we talked about that (sober!), she asked me if she did anything that made me feel uncomfortable, and i just laughed and said no. since she was stubborn, i told her that she bit my neck, but that it's no problem. she acted surprised, said she was too drunk to remember and apologised (while laughing).
    i forgot about it for some time.
    at the moment, both of us are interested in guys, and we talk quite a lot about it when we see each other.
    we went out recently with a group of friends and she touched my legs above the knees, hugged me a lot, held her hand on my bare back for some time, leaned on me etc. i honestly didn't think about what happened before until this last thing. and now i'm confused. does she like me or is she just playing with my feelings since she knows i'm bi?

    i like her. but i also don't want to lose her as a friend. (occasional kissing would be completely fine, though :D )
  2. sofa242

    sofa242 Member

    Apr 24, 2014
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    I would never do any of those things to a friend that I didn't want to make out with because they are more than a friend.
  3. cheekybastard

    cheekybastard Active Member

    Jun 3, 2014
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    Hi there,

    I get your confusion, hope and the whole situation (because like most of us, I've been there too, a few years back).
    The thing is, some people are just naturally curious and affective, but that doesn't mean it's more than platonic.
    For example, one of my best friends at the moment, who I really love (platonically), is straight, she know's I'm bi but we cuddle all the time, we show each other a loooot of affection. But we've talked about it numerous times, it's nothing more than that, that's the brilliant part. We can just be affective in a friendly way, even though some people might mistake it for romantic love.
    We actually share this same sort of band with two other friends, and it's awesome.
    The crazy thing is, I've learned this way that there is a very thin line between friendship and love. They all know I'm bi, and one of them is bi too, and people outside of our group might say we have a veeeery strange relationship (and I wouldn't blame them). We do.
    But it's all platonic love.
    I've kissed with all of them, numerous times, and still there's no weird tension or anything. That's because we talk about our feelings, openly and honestly.
    I suggest you try and do the same :)
    Real friends don't judge, you'll see. And if they do, they are not worth it. Or it's up to you to change that.

    Anyway, good luck in your situation, I hope you guys can talk this through, 'cause I know it's hard but once you've done it, you'll be so relieved.

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