Am I being played?

Discussion in 'Does She Like Me?' started by BlueBrunette, Sep 27, 2016.

  1. BlueBrunette

    BlueBrunette New Member

    Sep 27, 2016
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    Ok me and this girl have been following each other's blogs for a while, about a month ago I was tagged by her to do a selfie challenge. I posted my picture and she responded that she thought I was pretty. She posted hers, I'm straight but have always been curious, when I saw her pic immediately found her physically attractive, I reptiles that I thought she was pretty also. We started pm. We were talking one night and I jokingly said if I was going to ever crush on a girl it would be you, she replied me too. She is bi and has experimented with a few girls. We were talking again one night and I asked her a few things about her experience with girls. She replied the next day saying do you want your answer to your question to be more generalized or specific to you. I didn't understand . She said I can tell you what I like to do with women or I can tell you what I want to do with you. So she told me what she would do with me given the chance. I was fine with it, intrigued . We talk some more she mentions how she likes that I look so sweet and innocent , type , but that I'm also smart etc. we talked about being curious about each other and stuff we have in common movies , etc etc. she is a very upfront , brutally honest person , I'm more quite, nice reserved. We continue to talk when we can through pm, she lives kinda far away. 2 hr by plane, 12 hr drive. She mentions one day how it's too bad she lives far away because she would love to give me a great first time with a girl , we agreed that there is for sure a mutual attraction physical and mental, and curiosity. I would be open to that with her. I said well let's keep talking getting to know each other and if we still feel there is something there, maybe I can visit when my vacation comes around , she said she would like that . We talk some more she says she never been attracted to a girl on so many different levels before me, usually it's just physical. That she is attracted to men more physically and women mentally , but with me it's all of it. This is where it gets tricky, she said she wanted to get to know me better, so I took it as to continue pm . Maybe once a week is pm ask in general stuff, about work etc. she rarely replies back, when she does it week or more later. I do know she has a demanding job, I thought ok she just real busy , then I noticed that on her blog she answers ask from her inbox with mile long answers the same time I just pm with a very short hi, etc. then when she finally replies to me she's like I wasn't ignoring you I was busy etc. this happens a lot lately with the long blog answers but ignoring me . I finally just laid it out to her , I said I think I need to step back for a bit , with pm and stuff, I'm trying to make an effort to get to know you because I'm interested , you say you are but yet you barely acknowledge my messages which are not many , you never pm me first or ask anything about me, tho she claims she wants to get to know me more ? . She replied that she has a lot going on and her blog is used to help some friends edit stuff and answer her ask box, unfortunately doesn't leave a lot of time for chatting , returning messages. I think that's BS!! I was like ok well i need to back off then , she was like I'm a very blunt person and I psychoanalyze everyone, I think you are being insecure I've told you many times how attracted I am to you and I think you don't think anyone could think of you that way, but if you feel you need to back off it up to you, just don't do it because you think I'm not interested in you, that's so not the case, as of right now I have backed off, I haven't heard from her which isn't surprising , I know there is stuff going on right now with her personal family stuff, but even when there wasn't she barely responded, I don't plan on pm her for a very long time if any , I m confused, do you think she lied to me this whole time about the attraction etc. to me if you like someone you make an effort toward them, also when she would reply back she never asks me anything to get to know me . I feel very stupid and pissed. Why bother telling me all this and ignoring me. She says your not bothering me by pm Me
    Mabel Thomas likes this.
  2. Spygirl

    Spygirl Well-Known Member

    Jul 2, 2013
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    Some people like the chase -- it could be that you were a challenge and when she got what she wanted from you, i.e. your interest in return, it was no longer exciting for her. You are admittedly, getting your interest might also have been an ego thing to her. Unfortunately, there's a lot of game players out there -- she might be one of them.

    Either way, her actions speak volumes....she doesn't seem interested in you if she's not making an actual effort to talk to you. There's a quote I once heard that goes something along the lines of...."we make time for what's important to us." I have a busy career, but I make time for the things that are important to me.

    Don't waste your time with someone who isn't going to make you a priority -- back off and let her be. Her actions will tell you all you need to know.
    rainydaze, Mabel Thomas and greylin like this.
  3. greylin

    greylin Well-Known Member

    Jul 4, 2013
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    hi BlueBrunette. First off, whatever her reason for not keeping up with the contact with you, she is still not someone who does something you need in order to form a courtship, or even a friendship. But, I want to offer an plausible explanation for her behavior other than her toying with you.

    She could be a really bad pm'er when it comes to keeping in touch. There are people who can go long on the tooth with random strangers on a blog or post a lot of fb, instagram, etc. and be completely out of touch with a supposedly close friend. I can only understand that when I am in that mode sometimes. Not because I didn't want to keep up with a dear friend but I felt exchanging messages with such a friend is more of an emotionally invested endeavour and I either did not have the mind to do that at the moment or just didn't want to start a chain of thought and not finish. Still I would drop a line just to check in. I think your MissNOpm is very straight forward about what she wanted and I think if you had lived closer, she would have tried harder to contact you so she could get in your pants. Right now, you are just a far away possibility. I am not sure from the way you quoted her, she would give one the warm fuzzies. She got to know you enough to have that possibility of a notch on her bedpost. I am kind of glad you did not get used that way. I mean, the way she'd talked to you, I have heard the same kind of talk from creepy guys, you know. I think you are really quite better off.

    So glad you confronted her and backed away from her. You don't deserve this.
    Pi3, rainydaze, Kaorin and 2 others like this.
  4. Kaorin

    Kaorin Member

    May 16, 2013
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    100% what Greylin said. There are just as many girl game-players out there as there are guys, and she sounds like one of them. Generally, people who are as forward as she was are either after some attention, an ego-boost, or another notch on the bedpost.

    Don't feel bad - we have all been there, and you've been smart enough to spot it before you really wasted your time. You seem like a genuine person, so just keep being yourself, and you'll eventually stumble across someone, guy or girl, who will treat you with the respect you deserve, and who will really want to take the time to get to know you for who you are.
    rainydaze, Spygirl and greylin like this.
  5. mariannek2u

    mariannek2u Well-Known Member

    Feb 3, 2016
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    I agree with everything thats been said about this. Guy or girl it doesn't matter everybody deserve to be treated with respect!
    greylin likes this.

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