Am I asking too much?

Discussion in 'Advice on Meeting Women' started by LiveInTheMoment, Sep 4, 2015.

  1. LiveInTheMoment

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    Hi everyone,

    I'm at the point where I am settling down. I'm looking for a girly girl just like me, close to my age, financially stable like me, openly gay like me, have a full time job, know how to have fun but at the same time know how to control it, faithful and be able to trust others. Am I asking too much?

    I'm turning 33, and I feel like I have no luck. I feel like I am going to be on casual dates only, and I will never be able to find someone who can be a part of my life :(

    I have dated girls in the past, but they still wanted to have fun, not ready to settle down :(
     
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  2. Pi3

    Pi3 Well-Known Member

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    I think that's not asking too much, do you think you should widen your search to different city? Anyway, best of luck (Y).
     
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  3. LiveInTheMoment

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    That's a good idea. But I don't know how to go about finding someone out of state :)
    Thanks for the input
     
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  4. Kaorin

    Kaorin Member

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    Have you tried meetup.com? It's a pretty good way of meeting new people and making friends. Who knows, you might find someone special that way. Not sure where you live, but there are a few active LGBT groups on there in my area. Good luck :)
     
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  5. LiveInTheMoment

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    I live in az, and of course, meetup groups that I have gone to have women in their 50s and 60s. I think I don't want to date someone who is 15-20 years older than I am. There is nothing wrong with dating someone who is 15-20 years older. It's just not my preference :)
     
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  6. pikatan2

    pikatan2 Well-Known Member

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    What about younger ladies??? Hahha well I mean like legal age tho... you know hahaha how about online dating?

    I know someone from internet sound shady as heyull but like why not?? :)

    I dont think its a lot to ask hahah

    And best of luck, mate! :D
    Xx
     
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  7. Rez23

    Rez23 Member

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    I think it is a bit too much; I perfectly understand why you would want to date someone like yourself but still I don't think it leaves much room for passion; But then again maybe you're done with that. My advice is just be open to new things, you never know where it might take you.
     
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  8. Maryrose

    Maryrose New Member

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    Young girls are also good to settle down because they are less busy and more likely passionate, even though they are not financially stable but they will bring you to your happiest stage in life.
     
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  9. aussie_gabby

    aussie_gabby Well-Known Member

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    Nothing wrong with wanting all those things. I guess it just depends if you can be flexible a little bit.

    Do you have to have an ultimate girly girl? For example I wear make up, have no problem putting on a skirt/dress, wear heels to work etc. But I also enjoy wearing jeans and a tshirt more often than not. Not because it's the lesbian look or anything, but because it's comfortable. So do they have to be super girly or perhaps someone who can be a bit in-between?

    What do see as financially stable? Could you compromise for someone who perhaps doesn't have a lot of money but no or little debt?
     
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  10. Maryrose

    Maryrose New Member

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    Yes yes, you got the point.
     
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  11. Nicole Bauer

    Nicole Bauer New Member

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    Yea, maybe try the personals? Its a hit or miss where I live. Im not sure what other options apart from that. A lot are looking for fun, but some are looking for something real.
     
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  12. Kiyahet

    Kiyahet New Member

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    I don't think you're asking for too much, it's just really hard to find and I feel like that's just it. :(
     
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  13. LiveInTheMoment

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    That's true. I should be open up to new things.
     
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  14. LiveInTheMoment

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    Girly girl means no short hair and not wearing baggy outfit all the time [No offense to people who prefer to wear baggy clothes or having short hair. It's just not my preference] I'm a girly girl who doesn't wear make up often, only when I'm out and about with friends. There are days that I look super girly, but most of the time I'm in my polo or t shirt with a pair of short shorts or jeans. I don't mind to get dirty like joining mud run or going hiking. That's my definition of a girly girl.

    Financially stable means having a full time job or having a desire to find a full time job, knowing how to manage money, and having no or little debt.
     
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  15. Dizzure

    Dizzure Member

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    You would be surprised as to what you can find when you aren't looking. Live your life casually and see what happens. I am saying this from experience. The right person is out there.
     
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  16. lorienczhiu

    lorienczhiu Well-Known Member

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    I always think this is so interesting; when I met my wife, she presented in a pretty femme way, growing out her hair and wearing long skirts, and that's what I thought I preferred. Over our time together, she has explored different styles and presentations, and found she's actually much more comfortable in button downs, with Don Draper's haircut and a skinny tie. And you know what? It's hot, and I'm super into it.

    And if she'd dressed like that when we met, I never would have said yes when she asked me out because of what I thought I wanted. I preferred "girly girls" because I grew up socialized to think that it was better not to be too obvious, to look too gay, and "shouldn't girls look like girls?" Preferences are fine, but they aren't always honest, innate, or just ours; just like love happens when you're looking the other way, sometimes it also happens with someone you didn't expect to love.
     
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  17. losangeles_lez

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    Maybe try expanding your search by joining OKCupid? My friends keep telling me I need to look further than just L.A., but I'm hesitant about trying a LDR. I can't see myself moving to another city so they'd probably need to move here.
     
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  18. aTaurean

    aTaurean Member

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    I sail in the same boat as you. May be we will find someone here in AE.
    "Sometimes you feel like giving up, but then you look at other people who have given up, and the results aren't that good." ~Robert Brault
     
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  19. eaura

    eaura Member

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    I think a big part of it is the attitude you have meeting new people. Being open minded to the possibility of a connection even if they don't tick one of the boxes. Rolling out your list of criteria will put a lot of people off.
     
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  20. TheScandinavian

    TheScandinavian Well-Known Member

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    Once a friend of mine told me that the right one's gonna show up when I stop looking so I guess you can try it. You're trying too hard and, ironically, you end up meeting the type you're trying to avoid. of course it's not too much to ask for-I actually think that compared to what some other people want, you're not even asking for anything. However, you have this idea in your head that often makes you disappointed when meeting women because they can't be all. I guess you decide which one of your asks is what you need the least and see how it goes.
    As others mentioned, online dating is a good idea so I hope you find YOUR ONE & ONLY :)
     
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