Afraid about coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out' started by JinnyBatCat, Aug 4, 2013.

  1. JinnyBatCat

    JinnyBatCat Member

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    I just got out of the denial about me being lesbian it's nice saying to myself that I'm lesbian :D, the problem is I'm scared of what to say when coming out to my close friends because I feel like they'll be ok with it but they might just act a different way around me and I'm really worried I will end up losing friends after coming out to them and then another problem is coming out to my family at such a young age because if my family blocks me off and I will end up on the street, I mean I know they won't I'm just thinking of all the worst possibilities when I think of coming out and I'm just really scared :? :cry: any advice ?.?
     
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  2. beachbum07

    beachbum07 Member

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    First of all, coming out to yourself is a huge step and you need to give yourself credit on that. Since I'm not certain as to whether or not you are in high school or college, younger or older, regardless, don't feel like you need to rush anything. (I'm 24 and just came out to my mom and I have lots of family still to tell) It is important that you do things on your terms and your time. Your true friends won't treat you any differently. They may have questions for you, or they may already know. The only person who will pressure you to come out is yourself. You set your limits. If they are your true friends, then they will be your true friends. It's ok to be a little apprehensive.

    Family. I thought my mom would have kicked me out. Instead, she said I was still her daughter and that she loves me. It is natural to fear the worst, but don't let it overpower you. If you want to start sharing that part of yourself with others, then start small. You don't have to jump out of the closet with a rainbow cape, riding a unicorn. (though it is always an option...if you can find a unicorn) Maybe a friend who you know is cool about it (they have a gay uncle or sibling for example) or feel out your friends by sneaking topics in to get an idea on their opinions on LGBT issues.

    Just be yourself. If that means having more confidence simply because you are comfortable in your skin, then that in itself is a victory. Don't feel rushed. Move forward when you feel ready.

    This is based solely on my personal experience. There is a lot of love in the world, so don't let the haters get you down. Good luck with whatever decisions you make at whatever pace you make them.
     
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  3. Fiona

    Fiona Member

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    I came out to myself last year and started coming out to my friends a while ago. It was really easier than I thought it would be. So far all of my friends seemed fine with me being gay. But still I can't convince myself to tell my parents or other family members (yet). I think that is all part of the process of finding your own identity. So I myself try not to push myself too hard right now, I mean it still has time and maybe someday i'll find the courage to tell my family. I'll move to another city soon, so I'll be away from my parents and have time to think and distance myself. I realized that when I meet new people now that I am more likely to out myself and that is(for me) a huge step in the right direction.

    So try telling you friends and see how they'll react. Or maybe if you're still to worried try to approach it in another way, by telling them about another friend of yours who is gay and see how they react. I don't know but maybe that will help you to worry less?
     
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  4. Lezzbianz

    Lezzbianz New Member

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    Your conversation has really helped me come out to my parents! My family is the typical strict asian-type and I have no idea how to tell them I'm a lesbian.
     
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